[Enjknsua]

Relax, brother

If you actually know any sufis who stab themselves and hang up pictures, and tell you that having visions and going into trances is essential to tasawwuf, then yes, you absolutely need to avoid those people. Istighatha has nothing to do with Ashari thought. Yes, there are some Asharis who believe in it, but there are many, like most on this forum, who don't.

Marifah, self-annihilation...these are just names that people have given to realities that always existed. Call it varying levels of taqwa. You know in hadith jibreel, where Nabi says ihsan is to "Worship Allah as though you see Him, for even if you don't see Him, He sees you". That is the goal that is referred to as Marifah. Not everyone will reach this station, and that's ok. We all need to try, though. As for self-annihilation, I give you another hadith qudsi where Allah talks about how a servant draws closer through obligatory and voluntary actions, until He becomes the servant's "ears by which he hears, eyes by which he sees, hand by which he strikes..." This happens when a servant brings himself completely in line with the commands of Allah, as a result of which he leaves aside his own desires and passions. He becomes pleased with the decree of Allah, effectively annihilating himself.

So don't worry about the labels.

Please, take a few minutes to read this:

http://www.tasawwuf.org/basics/what_tasawwuf.htm