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**Zvmwissq** · 03-31-2012, 02:51 PM

Brother you have a lot of wrong ideas on this issue.

for a start you say..I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) - stay away from non-mahram girls it is contrary to Islam to have girlfriends be they sexual ones or just chums.

Well they weren't my girlfriends...they were the girls I knew and we were "friends" in a sense that we talked to eachother...nothing more than that. And you can't 'stay away' from girls...that is why I said to be practical. If you're a student , you have to interact , talk and discuss with girls...Isolation of girls and boys isn't a good idea in today's world.
Prophet (saws) told us that baaligh/mature people with sexual feelings should marry.

Delaying marriage is not the way of Islam it is the way of the kuffar. Well , 'sexual feelings' start coming at VERY early age (in terms of marriage)..By the time you're 13 , you are 'baligh' but definitely you can't get married at this age.

you say we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 - Islam teaches that if they are physically and emotionally mature at this age they should marry. On the other hand, if they are not physically and emotionally mature then they should obviously not do so for many good reasons, marriage is not a game and it is about far more than sex. Again , a 17-18 year old girl/boy can never be "emotionally mature" enough to get married. That is what I'm saying..if you're gonna have marriages in these ages...get ready for higher divorce rates...and this shouldn't be a problem..but since most Muslim societies are oppressive towards women..a divorced girl will be looked down upon...unlike the divorced guy...

Islamic marriage is not expensive, the costs of marriage that you imagine are nothing to do with Islam and are nothing that Islam approves of.

the problems you are bringing up are

1. the fault of non-Muslim authorities and westernized Muslim parents who cause marriage to be delayed for a long time after youths reach sexual maturity - this causes many problems as you have pointed out.

2. the fault of haughty Muslim families who have turned marriage into an expensive way to show off - this is against the Sunnah and against the way of the Sahaba who had simple marriages that were affordable. Yeah , Islamic marriage shouldn't be expensive...and in early marriages , having sex on the first night isn't a good idea..but then again..isn't it against Islam?

03-31-2012, 02:51 PM	#5
Zvmwissq Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 522 Senior Member	Brother you have a lot of wrong ideas on this issue. for a start you say..I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) - stay away from non-mahram girls it is contrary to Islam to have girlfriends be they sexual ones or just chums. Well they weren't my girlfriends...they were the girls I knew and we were "friends" in a sense that we talked to eachother...nothing more than that. And you can't 'stay away' from girls...that is why I said to be practical. If you're a student , you have to interact , talk and discuss with girls...Isolation of girls and boys isn't a good idea in today's world. Prophet (saws) told us that baaligh/mature people with sexual feelings should marry. Delaying marriage is not the way of Islam it is the way of the kuffar. Well , 'sexual feelings' start coming at VERY early age (in terms of marriage)..By the time you're 13 , you are 'baligh' but definitely you can't get married at this age. you say we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 - Islam teaches that if they are physically and emotionally mature at this age they should marry. On the other hand, if they are not physically and emotionally mature then they should obviously not do so for many good reasons, marriage is not a game and it is about far more than sex. Again , a 17-18 year old girl/boy can never be "emotionally mature" enough to get married. That is what I'm saying..if you're gonna have marriages in these ages...get ready for higher divorce rates...and this shouldn't be a problem..but since most Muslim societies are oppressive towards women..a divorced girl will be looked down upon...unlike the divorced guy... Islamic marriage is not expensive, the costs of marriage that you imagine are nothing to do with Islam and are nothing that Islam approves of. the problems you are bringing up are 1. the fault of non-Muslim authorities and westernized Muslim parents who cause marriage to be delayed for a long time after youths reach sexual maturity - this causes many problems as you have pointed out. 2. the fault of haughty Muslim families who have turned marriage into an expensive way to show off - this is against the Sunnah and against the way of the Sahaba who had simple marriages that were affordable. Yeah , Islamic marriage shouldn't be expensive...and in early marriages , having sex on the first night isn't a good idea..but then again..isn't it against Islam?
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