Great reminder akhi Abu Hamza. This is a bitter pill that is desperately needed. To be pleasant we have to use very kind words many times - there is no other way because this is the demand of Akhlaaq. And then these kind words also have the possibility of creating or boosting vanity. It is necessary ill to use kind words but we also have to save ourselves from ujb. May Allah(SWT) protect all Muslims from this hideous disease. Ujb is extremely dangerous because in presence of ujb or vanity we just can not become aware of our shortcomings. The result is that we can neither prepare for our defense nor we can seek for a cure for our spiritual illnesses. That (Turkish?) lady in your other thread has made the scary statement that a vane person lives a life of vanity and is never cured. Very devastating. Hazrat Haji Imadullah Muhajir Makki (NM) once told Hazrat Rasheed Ahmed Gangohi (RA) that you are not reporting your spiritual status. Hazrat Gangohi(RA) wrote back that Hazrat what can I report - both praise and criticism have become the same for me. Haji Sahab(RA) showed this letter to another great Shaikh and said see what a grand stature has Rasheed Ahmed has reached. Basically praise and criticism have the same effect on you. In case of praise you have to work very hard so that it does not go to your head. In case of criticism either you have to reform yourself - which is some work, or you have to bear the pain of being unjustly targeted. Either way it is work.