[gluckmeea]

al-Salamu 'Aleykum,

Dear sister, you saw an ugly side of Shiism, what you didn't see from it is even greater and more horrible.

Now I wasn't surprised when I read this, because this is usually done by Shia men to Sunni women, it happens more often and I've heard it many many times, sometimes they're even tricked into Mut'ah marriage not knowing what it is, then abandoned with their children, Alhamdulillah you're not one of those cases.

When you fall in love with any man, and he sees that you're emotional and very attached to him, then tells you to change your religion to Twelverism, that is a low and dishonorable act, why didn't he become an average Muslim instead? why must you be the one to change to what he likes? What makes him think that he can control your religion and your relation with Allah? And then if you leave Shiism he hates you for it!? that is despicable to say the least.

The man is lost but neither me or you can guide him, even if you open his books and show him all the un-islamic quotations he will not change his mind, unless Allah opens his chest for Islam then he'll embrace truth. Buying me a ticket won't do, you just have to let go and see for yourself that if he truly loves you, then he should run after you and become a Sunni since we Sunnies love Ahlul-Bayt and the Sahaba, but by telling you to become a Shia he's telling you to hate the people you love (i.e. Sahaba).

Now doing istikhara is not helpful when marrying a deviant who has shirki/kufri beliefs, this type of marriage should be avoided in the first place because it angers Allah, Allah would love for Muslim women to marry pious Muslim men, not extreme deviants, that's like doing Istikhara before going out on a date. We know that the date will anger Allah so why do we do Istikhara in the first place? In the end Allah guided you through him, and Subhanallah the man himself was later misguided, which reminds me of story I heard, that some scholars who are very busy in calling Kouffar to Islam, and then the Kouffar embrace Islam, and on the day of judgement they would go to heaven and try searching for the scholars who guided them but it turns out the scholars weren't in heaven, they went to hell, so the converts ask them "Why are you in hell!?" the scholars say "We invited you to the path of Allah but we ourselves never followed it." so regardless, you should LEARN from your mistake and next time insha-Allah marry the man who pleases Allah.

Things to look for in a man by priority:

1-His Deen (Madhab and Manhaj and such, he has to be from Ahlul-Sunnah regardless if he's Hanafi, Sufi, Salafi, Shafi'i, non-Madhabi ect...).

2-Does he practice his Deen (Even if his deen is proper he may not be practicing and this is not what you want).

3-His behavior and Akhlaq (Even if he practices and has a long beard he may not behave like a Muslim, and if he doesn't treat you like a Muslim then it'll be troublesome).

4-His looks (If he doesn't physically please you, then it's not recommended, some women might have a strong Iman so they'd drop this point altogether, good for them).

5-His Education and Status (Does he have a job, is he educated or an ignorant, can he provide for your children ect..).

6-His family environment (In simple terms, if his family are thugs they may interfere in your marriage and tear it apart).

wal-Salam 'Aleykum,