[new-nickname-zanovo]

This topic was in my mind too much lately. I could say that I had lots of experience , so do my other sibling because of this issue. Unfortunately like OP said, many of topic everywhere are talking about the right of parents without thinking about the right of the kids first and foremost. I mean, I read about how are we expecting and asking our right as parents to be fulfil if we didn't fulfil the right of our kids. Also it said in one article about if parents didn't fulfil the right of their kids, there are big possibility the kids will neglect the right of the parents. Although we said that kids had to bear any bad feeling towards their parents. But, I what I mean is these things can come naturally.

I mean, kids has right not just shelter, clothes and food, but also psychological need, emotional need, education and compassion. This is when the responsibility of parents suddenly become big which we sometimes did not realise. We think enough if we send them to school, to madrasah, buying them this and that.

The effect of parents neglect especially emotional, psychological and educational need for the child is very bad for the future. Also if the parents treat their child unfair, can create tension between sibling. As from my experience and my sibling, I had put lots of pressure on myself upon bringing up my own kids. For me, from my experience with what I am facing now, I told my self that this is responsibility I will be ask for in front of Allah in the day of judgement.

Also I think, we as parents has to low down ourself at some point as well. Sometimes we think we as parents should show our kids that we can never make mistake or we know everything. We should say sorry if we wrong and we should take from kids if they know more than us. Of course overall we should have control as parents. But, we got to remember, that our kids has their right as well. I mean, we want them to listen to us and asking them that they should obey us and etc, but we did not take their opinion , their emotional need and how they feel. I think this is wrong at some point. I believe if we show compassion on our kids, they will become better.

Also what I saw is many parents are asking for pay back. Sometimes my husband did say something to my daughter like, " I pay for your school fees and exam and etc. You should remember that". I mean I don't like things like that. I do mention to my kids that we had spend more on them because we are homeschool, but it's the right of education that we parents had to give them. For me, I won't ask back or threat them with something that is my responsibility. It's their right to have education. And it's my responsibility to give them education in safe environment. Even as we homeschool, financially it's hard, but I believe money is nothing compare to throwing them in the fitnah environment. I mean, my kids not all pious and that, but I am trying my best to protect them and keep them at home, but didn't mean I am denying their education. Although I don't expect my daughter to work, and she understand that, but didn't mean she been denied education. I will support her until her degree if she want and we had discuss about this because it's her right to do some of the things she think she want, but in boundary and limitation of Islam.

Like the others said, there are many things, parents did not realise that the problem come from them. I mean, I am my kids mother, but as a mum to a teenager, I know I had to be their friends as well at some point. Especially they are hmeschool. And I think it can be very enjoyment to have a friend that can give us unconditional love, and who else better than mother and daughter. Spending time together shopping and chatting.

I think younger generation should try to change the perception and change the attitude of being a parents , we need to be obey and listen to. Yes, we need. But, what I am always teach my kids, things that they not allowed is not because of me, but because that is what Allah swt said. So, they should not do haram things because I said so, but because this is what Islam said. They should respect me, not because I am their mother, but because that is what Allah swt said. And by follow and obey Allah swt, they will get success in this duniya and hereafter. So Insya Allah, for younger parents, as you realise many things that your parents did might not be as it should be, you can moved on by being a better parents and give your kids their right that they should have. Not right in term of 'kids right' in duniya law, but islamic law. Insya Allah.