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Old 02-26-2012, 09:26 PM   #27
dalnecymync

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Oct 2005
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Many people now a days have taken the concept of ta'addud and turned it into like leasing cars or playing with dolls, the matter isnt so simple and easy. Some dont even have one wife, or can barely handle the one wife they have, and are seeing dreams (more like hallucinating) of practicing ta'addud.

But let us put our hereafter in front of us and look at the tough questions. In reality what is the demand of taqwa when it comes to practicing ta'addud? How should ta'addud be practiced and how did our buzrughs our akabireen practice it? Our buzrughs, ulama of high caliber, who we listen to, read, and try to emulate, they gave so much sacrifice for deen. They were masters of Quran and Hadith, practical demonstration of sunnah, and we try to follow in their footsteps and their supervision and shadow is over us, how did they practice ta'addud? Let us see an incident from the life of Hakeem ul Ummat (ra) as explained by his elite khalifa Hazrat Jalalabadi Moulana Masihullah Khan Sherwani (ra):

Taken from "For Friends" Volume 15, courtesy of Hazrat Dr. Ismail Mangera sahib (db) (eminent khalifah of Hazrat Jalalabadi ra):

His Fairness and Justice - Qissah of the Two Melons

Once a peasant farmer brought two melons and gave it to Hadhratwala (Hakeem ul Ummat ra), "One was enough why did you bring two?" In the simple, straightforward manner of the rural people, the peasant replied, "Who does not know that you have two wives? The one is for the one wife and the other is for the other." Hadhratwala (ra) said, "Very well, but, dear brother, they should be exactly equal." Just take note that the melons should be exactly equal in order that the one wife receives exactly the same as the other wife.

Many people have a great desire to marry a second wife. In fact, Hadhratwala's (ra) first wife once remarked to Hadhratwala, "By marrying a second wife you have opened the road for your muridin to marry second wives also!" Hadhratwala (ra) replied, "To the contrary, I have closed the road!" She said, "Closed the road? In which manner?" Hadhratwala (ra) said, "My muridin witness all the time how I treat both of you with complete fairness and justice. Every item is shared equally between the two of you. If some parcel is tied in a string and is given to me then the item is divided equally. For measuring there is a scale present in the khanqah. Also, that very string is cut and given equally to the two of you. What goes to one goes to the other." Nowadays even one wife is not treated with fairness and justice, so how will justice be done between two wives?

To continue: The peasant responded, "I know you. You are particular about being equal, therefore I have weighed both melons before coming. You can weigh them and see for yourself. There is your scale." Hadhratwala (ra) weighed the melons and, really, they were of equal weight! Hadhratwala (ra) then said, "Fine. They are of equal weight. But show me, out of the two which is the sweeter one and which is not so sweet?"

Just ponder: To what degree is there fairness and justice? To what extent is there mujahadah with the nafs? To what extent is there riyadhat? How much effort is not undertaken?

The peasant said, "You draw very fine lines! Did I thrust myself into them? I do not know." Hadhratwala (ra) said, "Not to worry." He took a knife and cut both of the melons in half, setting one half of each melon into the one pan of the scale and the other half of each melon into the other pan. Adjusting them until they were equal he sent one set to the one wife and the other set to the other wife. Now there was equality. What an extremely high level of taqwa does this not demonstrate!

---He goes onto say---

I am attempting to show you the qualities of our akabir who preceded us. Hadhratwala (ra) used to say - and in this was no boasting but an invitation to simulate - "When I am having marital relations with my one wife I consider it haraam to hold the picture in my mind of my second wife at that particular time - I see that a mental image of hers should not come." Hadhratwala (ra) used to say, "These are the very fine points. To control ones thoughts is very difficult. But I consider it to be haraam and I avoid this visualising."

So we see here this incident the reality of ta'addud and its practical demonstration from people who were imams of taqwa of their time and teachers and shuyookh of ulama and mashaikheen. The matter is just over two melons and thoughts yet we see here to what degree a man needs to give justice and fairness when practicing ta'addud. We see it practically demonstrated by none other than Hakeem ul Ummat. This was a reality check and a wake up call for us who are dreaming of ta'addud, and now we have woken up from the dream and are seeing in reality and practicality to what degree of taqwa we need to implement justice and fairness between multiple wives. Dealings with the wife is a serious issue that we will be separately questioned for on the day of judgement, it is the easiest relationship to commit oppression in.
Bismihee Ta'aala


Asalamualaikum

Dear Respected Hadhrat,


I understand what you are saying by relating the story about Hakeem-ul-Ummat (RA). However, I believe we are making ta'addud to difficult. Alhumdulillah Hakeem-Ul-Ummat (RA) was totally on a different level than probably all of us. However, we cannot make things as difficult as what was mentioned. That is why fatwa and taqwa are seperated.

Now we have to see what the fuqaha say. Do they say that we have to go in this much precise detail to make sure everything is exactly the sae? I don't know, I am not an Aalim. We should aim for taqwa, but alhumdulillah as long as we are following the fiqhi rules, then we are not sinning.

If we want to talk about how precise Hakim-Ul-Ummat was with with this two wives, then we should talk about how precise he was with his every sunnah. However, I doubt that any-one of us probably follows the sunnah like he did. However, we aren't discouraged to try and follow the sunnahs to the best of our abilities.

What we have to do is try following ta'addud to the best of our ability. Is Allah (SWT) not merciful? Is he not forgiving? Won't he see how hard a person who is practicing ta'addud is striving so hard to make everything fair and equal? We should have more hope then fear should we not?

I think I see Maulana Saheb's point in that Hakeem-Ul-Ummat (RA) in the end was only a person and not a prophet. If the prophets had more than one wife, if the sahabas had more than one wife, and so on, then what is so wrong with having more than one wife?

A sister said it best yesterday when she said that Prophet (SAW) would've never allowed ta'addud if he knew ta'addud would be so difficult.

Dear respected Hadhrat, you keep mentioning that Hakeem-Ul-Ummat (RA) adviced against ta'addud, but I have still not seen anywhere where our Nabi (SAW) or the sahabas mentioned anything against ta'addud.

We talk about the wisdom of our Akabir, but that wisdom never matches to that of our Nabi (SAW) or even to the sahabas.


And Allah (SWT) knows best
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