[Lgcjqxlw]

I have been intensely following sunniform.com for the last few months, along with several other Islamic websites, blogs and forums like alfita.com, askimam.org, salafitalk.net, etc. and I would like to thank you all for helping me make one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was very enlightened by your true and accurate representation of Islamic beliefs, tenets and practices. I understood the real meaning behind several oft-questioned ayahs of the Quran and Hadith. Combined with other sources of Islamic discourse I was following, I believe I now have a complete and accurate picture of Islam.

Now comes the part where you would probably think I'm an internet troll. Thanks to all your views and the opinions of several Islamic scholars, I've come to the conclusion that being a modern, educated woman of the 21st century, Islam is definitely not the religion for me. I was born in a Muslim family and some of my family members have been devout followers of the faith, and even though we were taught prayer and the Quran, there wasn't any particular emphasis on religiosity. My curiosity about Islam rose when I saw my girlfriends being regular in their prayers and dealing with everything in their life, from make-up to marriage, after figuring out an Islamic perspective over it. This peer pressure drove me to strive for religiosity myself, and I became a staunch defender of anything Islamic. However, since I moved to Saudi Arabia I saw the sheer hypocrisy of Wahhabi Islam especially when it came to treating women and migrant workers, and how it legitimizes a brutal totalitarian regime through religious endorsement. This led me to a critical study of Islam itself. "Don't look at Muslims, look at Islam" I was frequently told by friends. Yet the more I studied, the more I felt it is a doctrine stuck in the 7th century.

The internet has permitted this amazing new culture of anonymity, where I can fearlessly state my beliefs. I'm lucky to have a husband who understands and supports my actions and convictions, although he considers himself a Muslim (not a practicing one though). We've already left Saudi for the safe havens of the UK, where of course, the state doesn't give a damn about who I worship even if it is domesticated cattle or David Beckham.

For the longest time, my dilemma was if I should actually label myself as 'atheist' or 'agnostic' or the like. But I concluded that nobody really owns the copyright to the label 'Muslim'. I can divorce myself from the actual tenets of the faith, but that does not negate the fact that I still do belong to Islam by virtue of my husband, my family, friends, my upbringing and the like. And I also do not have anything particularly against the basics of Islam - the five pillars, the spirituality, the Quran being a divine revelation and Muhammad being the last prophet, the narrative about how life is a test, etc. I do not deny them (I don't believe in them either). The biggest thorn for me has always been Islam's social engineering, its control over even the smallest aspects of human life. Its degradation of women into what Amnesty International calls 'perpetual minors'. Its unbridled, unabashed male chauvinism. Its outdated, retaliatory system of justice. Its denial of homosexuality as evil, and oppressive treatment of homosexuals. Its belief in magic and witchcraft. Its abhorrence to any foreign practice, even if it doesn't interfere with a Muslim's belief system. Its inherent opposition to democratic principles and freedom of expression. Its inability to allow Muslims to respectfully leave the faith for another belief system. Its intolerance for other belief systems in its midst. The various sects of Islam, all of whom try to outdo each other in their narrow-mindedness.

I was suggested by several internet friends to consider the fancier, hip sects that have come up, especially in the West or the Sufis of the East. Some of them support feminist, even homosexual movements. Others just stress on spirituality and worship. But I knew I'd be following a 'deviant' version of Islam (not that by following a more mainstream sect, nobody would call me a deviant. Muslims are busy labeling each other as munafiq or kafir.). I knew that being a part of these sects would be hypocritical, as I know what they follow isn't really what has ever been recorded as Islamic practice.

So the choice really for me was the exit door. Thank you once again for having this amazing resource where we can all discuss and paint a true picture of Islam, and decide for ourselves if Islam is right for us.