[pKgGpUlF]

If this is all true then I must be going to heaven. I mean if I were to commit suicide then would god understand the reasons? If he knows the the innermost secrets then he must understand that from where I am now there is not much left. And yes suicide is something very serious and i'm taking it seriously. It is the reason that i'm here to make sure there is no avenue which I have not exhausted. I have been thinking for a long time doing it, even so the the point I have sourced the ingredients to make cyanide. I'm not a stupid kid with girlfriend issues so don't get me wrong I was a chemist so I know all the risks involved and what I am doing. I wanted to speak to someone for ages but never had anyone and an internet forum is the only place I could think of.

Everyone goes through hardships like you said but if in the end you do not have a purpose then what's the point anyway? They say god closes one door but opens ten. I had ten doors but now have none.