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**Hankie** · 01-09-2012, 08:52 AM

Personally, I support early marriages. I'm 21 myself and I'm familiar with your situation as I'm also experiencing it. Take advice from imams, family, and close peers, but the decision you make should be your own - after all, no one knows your struggle better than you. My family, who have all grown comfortable with the "American Dream" worldview, and they're part of the crowd that says one should be "financially stable" or some other generic statement. That view, which values career and financial details so much, is completely blind to the truth. In older generations, my culture and probably yours too, young Muslims would get married and raise their new family in their parents' home until they inherited it or they saved up enough to move. To me, that sounds ideal, but my whole family is obsessed with this illusion we know as consumerism. For us young Muslims in the Western world, fighting temptation is a frustrating struggle, and if it is possible for the youth to alleviate this problem (ie, through marriage) then by all means I support it. The expected date of "stability" for most Western adults is in the late 20s, and its incredibly tortuous to endure the struggle until age 27 or 30. As I stated, I am fully of the opinion that early marriage is ideal, and I hope you are able to find a channel for which you can obtain a halal union, Allah subhanna wa ta'ala knows your intentions. If living arrangement is a problem, then perhaps a mehr situation can be worked out. When I am older I will wed my children at an early age so they do not have to face the dilemma of zina, but insha Allah they will be raised in a Muslim society.

Brother, I wish you the best, many young Muslims face the same trial and the same dilemma. Do not be discouraged by brainwashed Muslims, do what you feel is best for your iman, I too am looking into the option of marrying insha Allah in the next two years. Not long ago I was blind to the benefits of early marriage and fell into the Western trap of "career-oriented" family life, but that is not life.

01-09-2012, 08:52 AM	#2
Hankie Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 593 Senior Member	Personally, I support early marriages. I'm 21 myself and I'm familiar with your situation as I'm also experiencing it. Take advice from imams, family, and close peers, but the decision you make should be your own - after all, no one knows your struggle better than you. My family, who have all grown comfortable with the "American Dream" worldview, and they're part of the crowd that says one should be "financially stable" or some other generic statement. That view, which values career and financial details so much, is completely blind to the truth. In older generations, my culture and probably yours too, young Muslims would get married and raise their new family in their parents' home until they inherited it or they saved up enough to move. To me, that sounds ideal, but my whole family is obsessed with this illusion we know as consumerism. For us young Muslims in the Western world, fighting temptation is a frustrating struggle, and if it is possible for the youth to alleviate this problem (ie, through marriage) then by all means I support it. The expected date of "stability" for most Western adults is in the late 20s, and its incredibly tortuous to endure the struggle until age 27 or 30. As I stated, I am fully of the opinion that early marriage is ideal, and I hope you are able to find a channel for which you can obtain a halal union, Allah subhanna wa ta'ala knows your intentions. If living arrangement is a problem, then perhaps a mehr situation can be worked out. When I am older I will wed my children at an early age so they do not have to face the dilemma of zina, but insha Allah they will be raised in a Muslim society. Brother, I wish you the best, many young Muslims face the same trial and the same dilemma. Do not be discouraged by brainwashed Muslims, do what you feel is best for your iman, I too am looking into the option of marrying insha Allah in the next two years. Not long ago I was blind to the benefits of early marriage and fell into the Western trap of "career-oriented" family life, but that is not life.
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