[secondmortgages]

Dear sister I am 20 years old and my father is muslim and my mom is an atheist who got married to a kaffir after she divorced. I grew up in two houses and my father gve me the choice of choosing what i believed in at the age of 14. I had some bad experiences here and there and then eventually when i became 16 I became agnostic. I didn't drink or do drugs or have relations alhamdulillah but I saw the dirty world that lies out there being friends with drug dealers and bi sexuals. Subhanallah although I was alhamdulillah quite moraled not only being in that environment but just being agnostic myself i felt so sad. There was nothing to do no one to rely on when in trouble and nothing to follow. Sometimes we need guidance and instructions in our life and other times we need some space. My solution was leaving to take a break from everyone and I traveled to the middle east and just hearing the athan on an everyday basis hit my heart and made me realize that islam is not based on people. You might have enjoyed all the time you had with your family but maybe allah hu alum you didn't build a strong relationship with your lord. Keep asking him for guidance open the quran search for answers to your questions with sheikhs or youth counselors or even just ask the question and open the quran and inshallah allah will show you.