[GtmFeqJJ]

JzaKALLAH for your valuable response. I did meet thus guys in presence of my mehrem but when things get serious always get scared and find excuses not to enter the marriage. After things are over I regret my decision but then it's too late :-( btw it's not common in our culture to aak your geothermal or father to look for you a spouse that really is desperate. Also I'm not desperate in the sense that I'm desperate it's just that my biological clock is ticking and I have commitment issues.

Bismillah

You should always pray istikhara and rely on Allah SWT.
If you have a spiritual guide, you can seek his help and go with his decision without thinking too much.
One advise from elder sister of this forum. When we see three things, we should just go for it after praying istikhara
1) the person is deeni
2) you like him
3) parents approve
We should not think too much lest shaitan takes over our mind and keeps confusing leaving us distressed. So just go with the decision of someone whom you trust if you cant decide on yourself after praying to Allah SWT and just rely on Allah SWT that there will be khair in it. Also continuous making duas that your marriage be filled with piety and pray for afiyah in both the worlds. Allahu alam
I hope someone can advise you better.
wassalam