You know something, please don't think i'm patronising but this is important. It's very impressive that instead of getting yourself into trouble by fighting etc, you posted here asking for advice. Why? Because you held yourself back. You restrained your instincts, and rose above that. Alhumdullilah. To me that is already a massive step. It is SO HARD to not shout, swear etc. But to keep sabr. it's impressive, especially when our emotions run high. Please look at that post i linked. There are a few great quotes and hadith in it =). I know you might think its not the 'answer' you want. But I guess what i'm saying is. You're already behaving properly. It doesn't mean you can never answer back (i wont comment about that because someone else will have a better suggestion than me). What i AM saying is that Sabr in itself is a good act. You are already getting sawab for it.