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**Dayreive** · 08-18-2011, 06:43 AM

ameen ameen al ameen.
thank u for your respond sis ... well i know sis that i have to give in marriage to ... and i am sister .. normal i would not agree for him to go on bussines trips, but every time i give him little finger but he eats all my hand.
may allah swt reward u for your help. ameen

Dear Sister, felt sad reading your post. But, remember, there is always a hope, no matter what! When you ask Allah for something sincerely, and expecially when in pain of any kind, he surely listens to your plea. I know of a few Duas that can help you, but before that I would like to tell you something.

As you asked in your post that "..Is this normal in Islamic Rules?" , lemme tell you that, a person's behaviour cant be and shouldnt be associated with the religion. I mean, if your hubby behaves this way then, its HIM & HIS behaviour, and not the religion.
For example, if there is a car, and the person who is driving it is not a good driver and after few hits & misses, goes ahead to cause an accident. Now, whom would you blame for this? The Driver or the Car? Ofcourse, the Driver! If the driver didnt know about the way the car is to be drived, then HE is a bad driver, HE is to be blamed & not the car.
Similarly, if a muslim, like your hubby, does anything wrong or behaves harshly with you and all that you said, then its HE who is to be blamed, for he doesnt know about the way the husband is to behave in Islam, HE is a bad husband and not the religion! I hope that point is clear.

Next, to throw some more light on the aspect of matrimonial relationaship & wife's rights in Islam, please read this article : http://sunnah.org/msaec/articles/res...es_husband.htm.
I hope after reading this, your misconception will be cleared

Coming nxt to your question, as to what YOU should do. Sister, first and fore most, there might be reasons to what ever is happenign between both of you. And those reasons are surely unknown to us. Firstly, think about them. What has lead to all this. What has made hisbehaviour change. I am sure, there are mistakes which BOTH of you have done. Think about yours. Think where all were you wrong. Ask forgiveness from Allah (S.W.T) for that. Next, just remember that, as a wife, you should not just 'Expect' but also 'Accept'. Accept that your husband should be given some time, Accept that he should be given some space. Accept that he should be given respect & honor. Accept his decisions calmly at times, even if you are not agreeing with it. And if its serious, then put your opinion forward in a way as if your giving a suggestion and helping him to get the best out of it, speak in his terms, and not in a tone & way like 'I want it to be like this....'. Always remember, for a happy married life, it should always be 'We' and not 'I'. It kinda gives the husbands a feeling that you are trying to be dominating, and men usually dont tolerate that ! its a universal truth.

Try to be adjusting, at times even if he is harsh, keep quite, and have patience (sabr), for its the best virtue. Allah sees all, and loves the ones who have patience. And remember, love can win it all. Do things that he likes, cook what he loves to eat, & Just be loving, polite & calm, how much ever harsh he tries to be. Its gonna be very tough, but also worth it !!!!! I hope you will follow these simple lil steps

Finally, here are a few Duas that will sureshot help you out. Here goes :

1. To create or develop love between man and his wife:

1. Recite Surah Yasin 7 times and every time blow breath through the palm of the right hand on 7 almonds separately and give them to your spouse for eating all of them.

2. BISMILLAHIR RAHMAN NIR RAHIM 786 times on a glass of clean (pure) water and give it to your spouse for drinking.

3. Recite Surah An-Nisa 7 times a day.

2. To remove misunderstanding and discord and instead create love and understanding between man and wife:

1. Recite Surah Jumah (chapter 62) on Friday and invoke the Almighty Allah to fulfill your desire.

2. Recite the Allah's name "AL MAANI-U" (meaning: The Preventer) as many times as possible.

3. Recite the following portion of verse 54 of al Ma-idah on some sweet eatables and let both of them eat it.:

He loves them and who love Him, humble towards the believers, mighty against the infidels.

UH'IBBUHUM WA YUH'IBBOONAHOOO AD'ILLATIN A'LAL MOOMINEENA A-I'ZZATIN A'LAL KAAFIREEN

3. If the husband is displeased with the wife:

1. Recite the following verse 165 of Surah Al Baqarah on some sweat eatables and give it to him to eat. Inshaallah soon there will be positive result :

And yet there are some among men who take for themselves objects of worship besides Allah whom they love as they love Allah; but the believers are stronger in love from Allah. And if those who are unjust could only see when they see the punishment, that to Allah belongs all powers, and verily Allah is severe in punishment.

WA MINAN NAASI MAY YATTAKHID'U MIN DOONILLAAHI ANDAADAY YUH'IBBOONAHUM KAH'UBBILLAAH WALLAD'EENA AAMANOOO ASHADDU H'UBBAL LILLAAH WA LAW YARAL LAD'EENA Z'ALAMOOD ID'YARAWNAL A'D'AABA ANNAL QUWWATA LILLAAHI JAMEE-A'W WA ANNALLAAHA SHADEEDUL A'D'AAB

2. Recite 30 times verse 129 of Surah al Bara-at during the Friday night, keeping in mind the name of the displeased spouse. Inshallah, there will be harmony between the two spouses again.

But if they turn away, say: “Allah suffices me. There is no god but He. On Him do I rely, and He is the Lord of the great throne.”

FA-IN TAWALLAW FAQUL H'ASBIYALLAAHU LAAA ILAAHA ILLAA HUW A'LAYHI TAWAKKALTU WA HUWA RABBUL A'RSHIL A'Z'EEM

Then say name of spouse with mother

O my Allah, You are (my) Lord, be sufficient for me to make her heart yield to me and submit to me in (love and affection).

ALLAAHUMMA ANTA YAA RABBI 'ASBEE A'LAA (mention the name of the spouse with mother's name) QA-T'IF QALBAHAA A'LAYYA WA D'ALLIHAA LEE

4. To make a bad tempered and wicked husband docile and gentle:

1. recite the following du-a'a on some sweet eatables and give it to him to eat:

O everliving, O self-subsisting, O beneficent, O merciful (help me) by Your mercy, O the most merciful.

YAA H'AYYU YAA QAYYOOM YAA RAH'MAANU YAA RAHEEM BIRAH'MATIKA YAA ARH'AMAR RAAHIMEEN

All this will surely help you. Allah (S.W.T) is the most high, most merciful !!
--------------------------

Also, you can read this article for your encouragement, which will give you hope & build up for belief in the power of Duas & asking from Allah (S.W.T), the most high :
http://ifirdous.hubpages.com/hub/howduachangedmylife

May Allah (S.W.T) help you and all the muslim couples (also the future ones) in life and bless them with the love & respect similar to the one that was there between Rasulullah Muhammed (S.A.W) and his beloved wives, and with lots & lots of happiness.

Also, may he guide all the men & women to realise their duties & rights towards their spouse & lead a happy & peaceful life in line with Shariah.

Ameen, Ya Rabbal Aalameen !!

08-18-2011, 06:43 AM	#22
Dayreive Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 354 Senior Member	ameen ameen al ameen. thank u for your respond sis ... well i know sis that i have to give in marriage to ... and i am sister .. normal i would not agree for him to go on bussines trips, but every time i give him little finger but he eats all my hand. may allah swt reward u for your help. ameen Dear Sister, felt sad reading your post. But, remember, there is always a hope, no matter what! When you ask Allah for something sincerely, and expecially when in pain of any kind, he surely listens to your plea. I know of a few Duas that can help you, but before that I would like to tell you something. As you asked in your post that "..Is this normal in Islamic Rules?" , lemme tell you that, a person's behaviour cant be and shouldnt be associated with the religion. I mean, if your hubby behaves this way then, its HIM & HIS behaviour, and not the religion. For example, if there is a car, and the person who is driving it is not a good driver and after few hits & misses, goes ahead to cause an accident. Now, whom would you blame for this? The Driver or the Car? Ofcourse, the Driver! If the driver didnt know about the way the car is to be drived, then HE is a bad driver, HE is to be blamed & not the car. Similarly, if a muslim, like your hubby, does anything wrong or behaves harshly with you and all that you said, then its HE who is to be blamed, for he doesnt know about the way the husband is to behave in Islam, HE is a bad husband and not the religion! I hope that point is clear. Next, to throw some more light on the aspect of matrimonial relationaship & wife's rights in Islam, please read this article : http://sunnah.org/msaec/articles/res...es_husband.htm. I hope after reading this, your misconception will be cleared Coming nxt to your question, as to what YOU should do. Sister, first and fore most, there might be reasons to what ever is happenign between both of you. And those reasons are surely unknown to us. Firstly, think about them. What has lead to all this. What has made hisbehaviour change. I am sure, there are mistakes which BOTH of you have done. Think about yours. Think where all were you wrong. Ask forgiveness from Allah (S.W.T) for that. Next, just remember that, as a wife, you should not just 'Expect' but also 'Accept'. Accept that your husband should be given some time, Accept that he should be given some space. Accept that he should be given respect & honor. Accept his decisions calmly at times, even if you are not agreeing with it. And if its serious, then put your opinion forward in a way as if your giving a suggestion and helping him to get the best out of it, speak in his terms, and not in a tone & way like 'I want it to be like this....'. Always remember, for a happy married life, it should always be 'We' and not 'I'. It kinda gives the husbands a feeling that you are trying to be dominating, and men usually dont tolerate that ! its a universal truth. Try to be adjusting, at times even if he is harsh, keep quite, and have patience (sabr), for its the best virtue. Allah sees all, and loves the ones who have patience. And remember, love can win it all. Do things that he likes, cook what he loves to eat, & Just be loving, polite & calm, how much ever harsh he tries to be. Its gonna be very tough, but also worth it !!!!! I hope you will follow these simple lil steps Finally, here are a few Duas that will sureshot help you out. Here goes : 1. To create or develop love between man and his wife: 1. Recite Surah Yasin 7 times and every time blow breath through the palm of the right hand on 7 almonds separately and give them to your spouse for eating all of them. 2. BISMILLAHIR RAHMAN NIR RAHIM 786 times on a glass of clean (pure) water and give it to your spouse for drinking. 3. Recite Surah An-Nisa 7 times a day. 2. To remove misunderstanding and discord and instead create love and understanding between man and wife: 1. Recite Surah Jumah (chapter 62) on Friday and invoke the Almighty Allah to fulfill your desire. 2. Recite the Allah's name "AL MAANI-U" (meaning: The Preventer) as many times as possible. 3. Recite the following portion of verse 54 of al Ma-idah on some sweet eatables and let both of them eat it.: He loves them and who love Him, humble towards the believers, mighty against the infidels. UH'IBBUHUM WA YUH'IBBOONAHOOO AD'ILLATIN A'LAL MOOMINEENA A-I'ZZATIN A'LAL KAAFIREEN 3. If the husband is displeased with the wife: 1. Recite the following verse 165 of Surah Al Baqarah on some sweat eatables and give it to him to eat. Inshaallah soon there will be positive result : And yet there are some among men who take for themselves objects of worship besides Allah whom they love as they love Allah; but the believers are stronger in love from Allah. And if those who are unjust could only see when they see the punishment, that to Allah belongs all powers, and verily Allah is severe in punishment. WA MINAN NAASI MAY YATTAKHID'U MIN DOONILLAAHI ANDAADAY YUH'IBBOONAHUM KAH'UBBILLAAH WALLAD'EENA AAMANOOO ASHADDU H'UBBAL LILLAAH WA LAW YARAL LAD'EENA Z'ALAMOOD ID'YARAWNAL A'D'AABA ANNAL QUWWATA LILLAAHI JAMEE-A'W WA ANNALLAAHA SHADEEDUL A'D'AAB 2. Recite 30 times verse 129 of Surah al Bara-at during the Friday night, keeping in mind the name of the displeased spouse. Inshallah, there will be harmony between the two spouses again. But if they turn away, say: “Allah suffices me. There is no god but He. On Him do I rely, and He is the Lord of the great throne.” FA-IN TAWALLAW FAQUL H'ASBIYALLAAHU LAAA ILAAHA ILLAA HUW A'LAYHI TAWAKKALTU WA HUWA RABBUL A'RSHIL A'Z'EEM Then say name of spouse with mother O my Allah, You are (my) Lord, be sufficient for me to make her heart yield to me and submit to me in (love and affection). ALLAAHUMMA ANTA YAA RABBI 'ASBEE A'LAA (mention the name of the spouse with mother's name) QA-T'IF QALBAHAA A'LAYYA WA D'ALLIHAA LEE 4. To make a bad tempered and wicked husband docile and gentle: 1. recite the following du-a'a on some sweet eatables and give it to him to eat: O everliving, O self-subsisting, O beneficent, O merciful (help me) by Your mercy, O the most merciful. YAA H'AYYU YAA QAYYOOM YAA RAH'MAANU YAA RAHEEM BIRAH'MATIKA YAA ARH'AMAR RAAHIMEEN All this will surely help you. Allah (S.W.T) is the most high, most merciful !! -------------------------- Also, you can read this article for your encouragement, which will give you hope & build up for belief in the power of Duas & asking from Allah (S.W.T), the most high : http://ifirdous.hubpages.com/hub/howduachangedmylife May Allah (S.W.T) help you and all the muslim couples (also the future ones) in life and bless them with the love & respect similar to the one that was there between Rasulullah Muhammed (S.A.W) and his beloved wives, and with lots & lots of happiness. Also, may he guide all the men & women to realise their duties & rights towards their spouse & lead a happy & peaceful life in line with Shariah. Ameen, Ya Rabbal Aalameen !!
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