[Jerwittdergut]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Certainly will the believers have succeeded: (1)
They who are during their prayer humbly submissive (2)
And they who turn away from ill speech (3)
And they who are observant of zakah (4)
And they who guard their private parts (5)
Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed - (6)
[Suratul Mu'minun]
( I don't think i can do justice to summarize the video,i am not good at words, anyways here you go)

- First thing is to loose the attitude 'I know its mentioned in the Quran, but its not applicable to my situation'. Quran is the best solution.

- In this Modern age, most of the Men before marriage think once they get marriage everything will be ok. They do not think about the responsibilities. Initially He will be more tolerating, but with the passing of years even small things become cause for arguments.

-Quran describes Marriage as Husband taking in wife under his fort (protection), not just to satisfy his needs.

-A technique to deal with marriage problems is both the Husband and wife has to forget about the rights for the time being and start fulfilling their own duties. This way ones expectations will be lowered and will be satisfied with each other. As long as one put hopes in Creation, one will be disappointed. Only Allah can satisfy us.

-The Husband should should go out of habit and try to please the wife. One Once a Sahabah came to Umar (ra) and said he wants to divorce his wife because he is not interested in her anymore. Umar (ra) asked him , what about courtesy you owe your wife.

-Husbands should appreciate that their wives put up with them and their actions.

-Women should understand the weakness of Men. Its Women. Its the way Men are created.

-If the wives can understand this weakness, instead of condemning him, she should try to ward off this temptation and support the husband.

-A smile from the Wife when the Husband comes home. Its very important. Its a small gesture with profound positive effect. These are simple but powerful solutions.

-Both of them should take care of each other. They should remember more about their duties than rights.

-Also Arguments should be reduced. Men think everything can be solved by logical reasoning. But Women are complicated. The best way to make a point with ones wife is by following the Sunnah or our Beloved Rasoolullah : 1. Mercy 2. Silence .


P.s. He talks about the 'What the Right hand possess' from 27th min onwards. I haven't summarized it. SubhanAllah he has given a beautiful explanation about it.

Video: A good lecture on Healthy Marriage. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSEsUZIT6d8