DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Domestic Violence

**Queueftof** · 07-06-2011, 12:32 PM

I see that you are a non Muslim. The problem is that in non-Muslim societies these days, boys are brainwashed by the education system to despise manliness and to believe that women are their partners and in many cases even superior to them. Whereas the teachings of our Holy Quraan is that men are incharge of women, and women are to be subservient to men.

Due to this brainwashing by the education system, men end up becoming too soft and afraid to be in control of their wife....as a result their wife takes advantage of this and the poor husband becomes a victim of "spousal abuse".... Sad but true....in the Muslim world it is something laughable

To be honest, I don't see it as a muslim vs. non-muslim/ western vs. non-western type of issue. Even if Islam teaches the wife to be "subservient" it does not mean that all women are. (Even in the Christian faith women are taught to "submit" to their husband.) I was on a different Muslim forum some time back, and I will not reveal which one it was, but there was a thread once that asked members about how they deal with their anger. I was quite shocked and amazed at the number of women who confessed to taking out their anger in physically aggressive ways (throwing things, hitting things, etc.). I have never personally known so many physically aggressive women before, and so many of these women seemed like total sweethearts prior to my reading of their confession. I would hate to be the husband who made those women angry!

Abuse comes in forms other than just physical violence. It could be verbal, emotional, psychological.

I was reading some fiqh regarding menstruation one day, and I read something that said if a woman says she is menstruating, but her husband does not believe her, then it is lawful for him to have sexual intercourse with her. My first thought was, "why would a woman lie about menstruating?" And my second thought was, "Why would her husband think she is lying about menstruating?" Then I realized that it must be that there are women who would lie about such things in order to avoid certain things (such as sexual intercourse). I once had a pastor who would call that a form of witchcraft (and a sin) for a woman to do that. It could be argued that for a woman to unjustly deny her husband sexual relations, then it is a form of abuse. There are women out there who use sex as a tool.

That is only one example of a form of abuse that is not physical in nature. You mention that in the Muslim world it is "laughable" to think of a man being abused by his wife. Sadly, this only contributes to the fear men would have in coming forward.

07-06-2011, 12:32 PM	#27
Queueftof Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 460 Senior Member	I see that you are a non Muslim. The problem is that in non-Muslim societies these days, boys are brainwashed by the education system to despise manliness and to believe that women are their partners and in many cases even superior to them. Whereas the teachings of our Holy Quraan is that men are incharge of women, and women are to be subservient to men. Due to this brainwashing by the education system, men end up becoming too soft and afraid to be in control of their wife....as a result their wife takes advantage of this and the poor husband becomes a victim of "spousal abuse".... Sad but true....in the Muslim world it is something laughable To be honest, I don't see it as a muslim vs. non-muslim/ western vs. non-western type of issue. Even if Islam teaches the wife to be "subservient" it does not mean that all women are. (Even in the Christian faith women are taught to "submit" to their husband.) I was on a different Muslim forum some time back, and I will not reveal which one it was, but there was a thread once that asked members about how they deal with their anger. I was quite shocked and amazed at the number of women who confessed to taking out their anger in physically aggressive ways (throwing things, hitting things, etc.). I have never personally known so many physically aggressive women before, and so many of these women seemed like total sweethearts prior to my reading of their confession. I would hate to be the husband who made those women angry! Abuse comes in forms other than just physical violence. It could be verbal, emotional, psychological. I was reading some fiqh regarding menstruation one day, and I read something that said if a woman says she is menstruating, but her husband does not believe her, then it is lawful for him to have sexual intercourse with her. My first thought was, "why would a woman lie about menstruating?" And my second thought was, "Why would her husband think she is lying about menstruating?" Then I realized that it must be that there are women who would lie about such things in order to avoid certain things (such as sexual intercourse). I once had a pastor who would call that a form of witchcraft (and a sin) for a woman to do that. It could be argued that for a woman to unjustly deny her husband sexual relations, then it is a form of abuse. There are women out there who use sex as a tool. That is only one example of a form of abuse that is not physical in nature. You mention that in the Muslim world it is "laughable" to think of a man being abused by his wife. Sadly, this only contributes to the fear men would have in coming forward.
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