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**VEGLAS - SPB** · 07-04-2011, 11:21 PM

Sayyidi,

I don’t have exact references but I believe that you are talking about “Bollywood love stories” vs I am talking about the Sahaba (RA).

To me the society of Sahaba was “more modern to us” in this respect and don't know if its the right word to use or not.

Sheikh (DB), I think the women in Sahaba's (رضي الله عنه) time never really needed to offer themselves in marriage because of the sheer amount of Proposals they received even after their divorces and their husband's death. It was so immediate after their divorces or husband's death, that Allah put a restriction on them:

وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاء أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَكِن لاَّ تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلاَّ أَن تَقُولُواْ قَوْلاً مَّعْرُوفًا وَلاَ تَعْزِمُواْ عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىَ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ
There is no sin on you if you hint as a proposal to the women, or conceal it in your hearts. Allah knows that you will make mention of them. But do not make a promise to them secretly, except that you speak in a recognized manner. Nor resolve upon a contract of marriage until the prescribed time is reached. Be assured that Allah knows what is in your hearts. So, fear Him and be assured that Allah is most Forgiving, Forbearing.

As the above post suggest, "open-minded" is a better word. It wasn't thought to be a crime if a woman proposed herself, or if a Sahabi went himself to propose to someone's daughter of sister. They were very open minded about Nikah itself, whether be 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th.

The best example would be when a woman came and said to Rasool Allah

I want to marry you. Rasool Allah

did not answer her, another Sahabi was sitting there. He thought this is a good chance

, so he said Ya Rasool Allah

i want to marry her.

Would a mureed dare to do that infront of his Sheikh today?

07-04-2011, 11:21 PM	#19
VEGLAS - SPB Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 524 Senior Member	Sayyidi, I don’t have exact references but I believe that you are talking about “Bollywood love stories” vs I am talking about the Sahaba (RA). To me the society of Sahaba was “more modern to us” in this respect and don't know if its the right word to use or not. Sheikh (DB), I think the women in Sahaba's (رضي الله عنه) time never really needed to offer themselves in marriage because of the sheer amount of Proposals they received even after their divorces and their husband's death. It was so immediate after their divorces or husband's death, that Allah put a restriction on them: وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاء أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَكِن لاَّ تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلاَّ أَن تَقُولُواْ قَوْلاً مَّعْرُوفًا وَلاَ تَعْزِمُواْ عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىَ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ There is no sin on you if you hint as a proposal to the women, or conceal it in your hearts. Allah knows that you will make mention of them. But do not make a promise to them secretly, except that you speak in a recognized manner. Nor resolve upon a contract of marriage until the prescribed time is reached. Be assured that Allah knows what is in your hearts. So, fear Him and be assured that Allah is most Forgiving, Forbearing. As the above post suggest, "open-minded" is a better word. It wasn't thought to be a crime if a woman proposed herself, or if a Sahabi went himself to propose to someone's daughter of sister. They were very open minded about Nikah itself, whether be 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th. The best example would be when a woman came and said to Rasool Allah I want to marry you. Rasool Allah did not answer her, another Sahabi was sitting there. He thought this is a good chance , so he said Ya Rasool Allah i want to marry her. Would a mureed dare to do that infront of his Sheikh today?
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