[Ikhqgvas]

Bismillah Al-Rehman Al-Raheem

Assalam-Alaikum Brother Haarisa:

I am really touched by your story, and I am very happy to hear that you have been inspired to do many good deeds and other relevant aspects such as nafl salat. Please pray to Allah that you continue on that same path, as even one second looking away from the Path can result in losing sight of what is really important.

As far as the Sister is concerned, there might be many reasons why she might have rejected your proposal, and close family ties in terms of friendship might be one of them (as you still suspect), as also you yourself said that she had been previously married and abandoned by her previous husband and might fear another situation where if things did not work out between the two of you that your respective families might suffer for the problems in the marriage.

That being said, I think your best approach should be this: Write her a letter and tell her the same things you told us, about why you admire her for the sake of Allah, how she inspires you to be a better person and Muslim, and how you believe both of you as a team can make a good marriage between the two of you for the sake of Allah. Also, please tell her to tell you in response if she absolutely feels that therein lies no possibility in her heart for your proposal being accepted, confessing to her that you wanted to make a final try to see if she might change her mind and tell her you will respect her wishes regardless of what she decides but urge her to take some time to think rather than give you a response immediately. Also, urge her to pray Istikhara if she hasn't already done so. Please have the letter be read by her Wali to see that the content is judged appropriate and halal before having the Wali give the letter to her.

Also, I love the idea that Brother MartialArtsUK gave: for you to also read Istikhara to see if she is indeed the right person for you. You see, your heart gives you an answer, but I think it is time for you to find out if Allah also gives the same answer.

However, I also want to emphasize that her no does not mean that you cannot be a good Muslim without her for inspiration, as I am sure that Allah will never disappoint His servant and might have desired for you another mate who will inspire you in the same way. And you must also be prepared for that possibility (and thank Allah under all conditions, no matter how your wish turns out), for though you might believe she is the one who inspired you, the truth is that Allah made her a means of inspiration and Allah is the one who wanted your heart to be so inspired. So, please do not make resolutions like you will never marry if you do not marry her, as that I am sure you will through this type of thinking pave a very difficult road ahead for yourself and unnecessarily. Surely, Allah has not willed for any of His slaves to make life difficult for themselves in such a manner.

Moreover, please be happy and confident, as both are attractors in themselves. Allah has blessed you with two great jobs in such a period. So, please be content as Allah has given you much, and even if Allah denies you your wish in this, Allah has given you much for you can give thanks.

Alhamdullilah. Thank you for sharing your story.

Best wishes to you. I hope everything works out for you as Allah deems best.