[reervieltnope]

As salamu alaikum,

you need to do the following tings asap:

- pray istikhaara.
and stop worrying about dreams. sister below has shared a link on what dua istikhara literally means and u must read it. I will give you a gist: istikhara is done on two things. 1. ur 50-50 on something, 2.u want to do something. YET u dont know what is good for you. so you dissolve your wishes in Allah's will and pray istikhaara.
after you have prayed istikhara, then what?u clearly belong to option 2, as u know what you want. but by praying istikhaara you ask Allah (SWT) to place you on the path that is best for you. that path may either lead you to the girl or away from her. So stop worrying about dreams. Once you pray istikhaara, the wheels get into motion and you start treading the path that is best for you. So its important to pray to Allah with ikhlaas so He remains pleased with you and guides you to what is best for you.
You may ask when do i know which path was chosen for me?
a. you get married to her
b. she gets married to someone else.
thats literal derivation taken from the dua-e-istikhaara.
dont worry about difficulties. be patient.

- stop thinking about the girl.let go. and aim your prayers at attaining Allah's love and Jannat.
i may sound harsh but you may be crossing the limit. Whatever kind of love exceeds love for Allah (SWT) is definitely dangerous. if she is meant to be with you she will be yours. but making Allah (SWT) angry by focusing your prayers on her and on getting her wont get you anywhere. Imagine making your boss angry then asking for promotion
Istikhaara prayer basically asks you not to choose sides. and remain neutral and hope for the best. yes, you do work towards what you want, but with a detachment.thats important.

- try to love Allah (SWT) and do what He is pleased with. Remember He made us humans and jinns to worhip Him and nothing else. You make one step towards Him, He comes running towards you. subhan Allah!

- be grateful that Allah (SWT) guided you to the right path through her. The way to be grateful is to say thanks through your tongue, heart and actions. What you lack i think is thanking Allah(SWT) by your actions that HE placed her in your life.
How you can do that?
This is by praying, at every possible moment that Allah(SWT) give her the best in this life and the Hereafter and give you the same, either through your marrying her or her marrying someone else. When you love someone, you cant be selfish. If you are, then you dont love them. simple. have you ever thought of the possibility that she might not be happy as your wife, and that she might be happier with someone else?if thats the case would you want her to be with you or with the one she can be truly happy with? This is the toughest thing you might have to go through but you need to really make this dua for her that she ends up with someone she can truly be happy with. either you or someone else.
So of you are really grateful to Allah (SWT) that He placed her in your life you will do the above.

- ask Allah (SWT) for a righteous wife who would make a successful marriage with you through which your families can attain Salvation. Isnt this better than asking something specific?

- Ask Allah (SWT) to remove the love of the world from your heart and place His love instead. Trust me even if we get all we want from this world there will remain an empty space that is filled with sadness because that place is not filled with love for Allah (SWT). trust me on this feeling. its the worst there is. you get the whole world and you feel ok now im happy...*pause*...wait, something is missing.
You dont want to go through that.

Just remember that after you do istikhaara with sincere intentions of being guided to the path which is best for you, then you do get guided to that path. However it may not be the path you wanted. But you have to remember that Istikhaara prayer has one more beauty that I didnt mention. That whichever path Allah (SWT) chooses for you He makes you happy with it!

So you have to choose. Do i want this girl or do i want to be happy?Happiness can be either with or without her, but there's no guarantee that being with her will make you happy.Think about it.

Its best to trust Allah (SWT) with such a huge decision.

- lastly.
remember this world is a test and is temporary. you attach to it too much then you lose. You attach yourself to Hereafter you win. its simple. thing is to pray to Allah (SWT) to help you let go of this world. the next best thing is to remember death often. You wake up in the morning, dont expect to be alive by evening. and at evening dont expect to be alive by morning. Direct quote from Sahih Bukhari. once you remember this no worry in this world will bother you, nothing will make you sad.


May Allah guide you and me.Allah knows best.

(p.s if you want references from Quran and Hadith regarding what I have said i will be happy to provide. i was just too lazy to put them there...)