[Duseshoug]

sister,

We can't possibly know what Allah knows, and assuming that falling into an old pattern / path is the destiny chosen for a person by Allah... Dangerous, sister.

Asking Allah for guidance is excellent, but unless we have very pure hearts, we can't always be sure that what we "feel" is the path shown to us by Allah, is the path He wants us to take.

The best way to decide what Allah wants us to do, is to read the Quran. Almost everything is outlined there. If something is a sin (gunah) then how can this be what Allah wants for us? He gave us the opportunity of tewbeh for the specific reason that He knows we will commit sins, and He wants us to repent and try to be better people.

People often fall into the same patterns of behavior. A woman who is beaten up by her father may later be beaten up by her husband - and if she divorces him, may later marry another man who beats her up. This doesn't necessarily mean that being beaten up by the men she loves is her destiny chosen for her by Allah! It means that she has grown up to believe this is what she deserves, and maybe subconsciously chooses violent men, or has subconsciously learnt behavior which triggers violence in men (and this is a whole other topic!!). Or, for example, a person who used to take drugs but did tewbeh and tried to change, may once again start taking drugs or doing other harmful and addictive things, because it's the only way they know to "cope" with whatever life throws at them.

We very often have no or little control over external circumstances, but we DO have control over how we react to them. This is why Allah has told us how He wants us to act in different situations. We don't have a lot of control over life's temptations - there is temptation to sin if we never leave the home! - but we DO have control over whether or not we give in to temptations. If we spend our entire lives in poverty, we can choose to either be satisfied (qanaat) with very little (and do our best to work hard to earn enough halal income to buy food), or we can choose to complain, feel discontented, and maybe even commit sins like stealing or prostitution to earn money.

I assure you that we can never know our destiny. Us reverts are good examples of this - one moment we're leading a life which we may think is our destiny, like singing on stage or a lesbian relationship or getting drunk every night - the next minute we're doing tewbeh and scrubbing floors and doing salah and fasting! If this sounds extreme, then listen to this - I know of ex-murderers (well, one!), ex-drug-addicts, even ex-prostitutes who have repented of their sins and now lead a life of pious worship and good deeds.

There is a huge difference between believing in Allah's fore-knowledge of everything, and just surrendering yourself to whatever mess you are in because it's "your destiny". Allah doesn't force you to make your choices. He just knows what choices you will make, because He knows everything. He has also clearly told us WHAT choices we should be making. Why would He bother with the Quran if everything we were going to do was already set in stone?!

If you could give a more specific example of the old path/ new path, maybe we could help you with more specific examples and advice.