So your brother is also a deobandi? no deobandi I know of says that your durood is not accepted if you are standing. Brother I know where you coming from just chill out man we need unity in ummah and these minor differences should be left alone you should listen to the talk by Mufti Rafi Usmani which he gave in UK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZbM9O89e70 in which he mentions that unity of the ummah is more important then the small differences we have in the ummah.