DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - why do men marry secret wives and how do they maintain fairness

**Ternneowns** · 04-19-2011, 11:42 PM

As a person who has had first hand contact with many such cases at the darul iftaa, I would say the major reason people marry secretly are :

"The first wife is not groomed enough islamically to accept a polygynous marriage.
While many women will boldly say
I rather have talaq from him than allow him to marry a 2nd.
Other would say I rather have him do zinaa then have a saukan in my house!!! (subhanallah I do face palm every time I hear such responses..knowing we are an ummah whose aslaf most if not ALL had polygynous relations)
Many are not willing to accept that he doesnt need their permission.

The minority cases are such that the man is simply a leech who wants to exploit the scenario.

Shaykh, could you please clarify what the conditions are regarding marrying more than one woman? I always thought/assumed that the permission of the first wife was needed, but you have indicated above that this is not necessary.

Also in such a case where the husband marries a second time without the first wife's permission does the she (first wife) have recourse to a divorce on that basis?

04-19-2011, 11:42 PM	#10
Ternneowns Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 541 Senior Member	As a person who has had first hand contact with many such cases at the darul iftaa, I would say the major reason people marry secretly are : "The first wife is not groomed enough islamically to accept a polygynous marriage. While many women will boldly say I rather have talaq from him than allow him to marry a 2nd. Other would say I rather have him do zinaa then have a saukan in my house!!! (subhanallah I do face palm every time I hear such responses..knowing we are an ummah whose aslaf most if not ALL had polygynous relations) Many are not willing to accept that he doesnt need their permission. The minority cases are such that the man is simply a leech who wants to exploit the scenario. Shaykh, could you please clarify what the conditions are regarding marrying more than one woman? I always thought/assumed that the permission of the first wife was needed, but you have indicated above that this is not necessary. Also in such a case where the husband marries a second time without the first wife's permission does the she (first wife) have recourse to a divorce on that basis?
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