DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - why do men marry secret wives and how do they maintain fairness

**KojlinMakolvin** · 04-20-2011, 02:19 AM

JazakAllah khair for everyones opinion

Discussion is not why marrying the 2nd wife. Its established clearly and Allah SWT has made it very clear to us. No one can object that. Discussion is about marrying a 2nd wife secretly.

That said.. I am having trouble with the following:

1. I dont see men following other sunnahs? But when it comes to this paritcular sunnah, they get defensive that its thawab and sunnah etc !
2. In the quest of quenching your nafsaani thirst, you are ruining the lives of your first wife and children from first wife.
3. You are risking the bonds, relationships, family dynamics, financial needs, the emotional trauma that your first wife goes through

The wife is a human too, if men can commit zina, so can the wife because of distributed attention among the wives! She can take the revenge out in any way she likes ! Especially because she was lied upon with all the hiding and secret marriage !Not all wifes will get tamed just because the man married a 2nd wife, the opposite reaction can occur too. If the wife takes drastic actions, who is to blame?

@Sister Sudoku - I highly respect your thoughts and ideas. But not all women think like you. The times of Sahaba were different, those were real men and real women. Real muslims. Our times are dark times..

04-20-2011, 02:19 AM	#27
KojlinMakolvin Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 394 Senior Member	JazakAllah khair for everyones opinion Discussion is not why marrying the 2nd wife. Its established clearly and Allah SWT has made it very clear to us. No one can object that. Discussion is about marrying a 2nd wife secretly. That said.. I am having trouble with the following: 1. I dont see men following other sunnahs? But when it comes to this paritcular sunnah, they get defensive that its thawab and sunnah etc ! 2. In the quest of quenching your nafsaani thirst, you are ruining the lives of your first wife and children from first wife. 3. You are risking the bonds, relationships, family dynamics, financial needs, the emotional trauma that your first wife goes through The wife is a human too, if men can commit zina, so can the wife because of distributed attention among the wives! She can take the revenge out in any way she likes ! Especially because she was lied upon with all the hiding and secret marriage !Not all wifes will get tamed just because the man married a 2nd wife, the opposite reaction can occur too. If the wife takes drastic actions, who is to blame? @Sister Sudoku - I highly respect your thoughts and ideas. But not all women think like you. The times of Sahaba were different, those were real men and real women. Real muslims. Our times are dark times..
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