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Old 03-25-2011, 12:05 PM   #8
mxzjxluwst

Join Date
Oct 2005
Posts
345
Senior Member
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Sallamu alaykum

I've been trying really hard to control my tongue, in fact I don't even speak half as much as I used to. So far it's going good al-hamdulilah. Before I was always the 'joker' of the group and was known for my sarcastic comments. I would speak to my friends (girls ofcourse) on the phone for hours, and all we would be doing is backbiting subhanallah.

Al-hamdulilah I've become more practising, and this has led me to change my character (for the better)

I made the conscious decision to not only stop speaking about others, but also I would no longer listen to others speaking about others. I even saw something with my own eyes, that was scandalous but kept it to myself which was a first. I was biting my tongue the whole day & itching to tell somebody but I didn't al-hamdulilah. I just focus on my own faults now, not others.

Anyway my problem is the reaction I'm having from other people. In one day, nearly everybody I came in contact with wanted to tell me something about so-and-so. I can't blame them because that was our speech, that's what I used to indulge in. But I stopped every single one and said I don't wish to hear it. So far, people have just stopped talking to me. I even had a sister laugh at me and roll her eyes.

Today is another day, and again people want to tell me something about so-and so. When I want to quote something from the sunnah or Quran these people think I'm trying to act righteous or that I think I'm better than them when I don't.

I want to please Allah (swt) .. so I'm not going to let them speak about others to me. I just want advice on how to tell these people in a nice way I'm not interested because saying 'I'm not interested' or that's haram makes them and then they

Also people are counting down the days that I go back to how I used to be. Subhanallah. They think this is a phase. The fact that I've cut off all non-mahram, and I dress more religiously is making them

I spend most my days alone now, and pray to Allah that he increases my imaan because I don't wish to turn away from the truth. I just want advice on how I can deal with backbiting, because the way I'm doing it now is just getting a lot of and I'm wondering if there's a nicer way to go about it?

Sorry I made the post long.



As far as your obligation to advise them against the wrongs of backbiting is concerned, this is contingent upon whether you believe that they will take your advice into consideration or not. If you are convinced that an individual will hearken to your counsel then it is an imperative upon you that you advise them accordingly. If you do not suspect that your admonition will have any influence upon them, then it is not required of you that you exhort them in this.

With that being said, I would advise that if you feel that a person will not follow your recommendations yet they are someone who you come into contact with on a regular basis, then you should make it known to them that you do not wish to hear such things. This will deter a person from mentioning such occurrences to you in the future. Care should be taken however to covey this message to them in the most affectionate and palatable manner possible.

As for those the individuals assuming that your step in the right direction is but a phase and trying to discredit your sincerity, you will just have to have patience with this because their conclusion is a phase in itself. InshaAllah with time they will see that you are determined in your pursuit for nearness to Allah Ta'ala and accept this goal of yours.

For those that do not accept this and leave your side due to this decision, understand that this is amongst the trials of this path and your sacrifices in this matter will increase your closeness to Allah Ta'ala and be a means of great reward for you in the Aakhirah.

May Allah Ta'ala give us ease in our pursuit of his pleasure and make us amongst the accepted ones.

Ameen.

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