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**tgs** · 07-12-2013, 04:15 AM

Thank you. I am actually from California and came to God on my own at 18; the journey was a personal one.
Interestingly enough, for me it happened a little differently. I wound up in an emotionally abusive Christian cult (some people from it went to my home church) and it got so extreme that I developed dissociative identity disorder and I remember it happening: I remember it being so painful for so long with no escape and no answers from God that at some point when I could not go on living, my brain decided to reboot over the course of 2 or 3 days. It was terrifying watching my entire personality be taken from me, and my faith along with it, but who I was had to die so that I could go on. I was basically a zombie after that and have been trying to rebuild for the last 6 years. I loved as best I could but at the end I did not find love I found only death.
The world just doesn't make sense with the Christian God. It's a slow process but I am doing much better now without faith because I am able to see the world as it is and act accordingly. There are no surprises and everything makes sense. I feel much more sane and in control of my life.

07-12-2013, 04:15 AM	#33
tgs Join Date Mar 2007 Age 48 Posts 5,125 Senior Member	Thank you. I am actually from California and came to God on my own at 18; the journey was a personal one. Interestingly enough, for me it happened a little differently. I wound up in an emotionally abusive Christian cult (some people from it went to my home church) and it got so extreme that I developed dissociative identity disorder and I remember it happening: I remember it being so painful for so long with no escape and no answers from God that at some point when I could not go on living, my brain decided to reboot over the course of 2 or 3 days. It was terrifying watching my entire personality be taken from me, and my faith along with it, but who I was had to die so that I could go on. I was basically a zombie after that and have been trying to rebuild for the last 6 years. I loved as best I could but at the end I did not find love I found only death. The world just doesn't make sense with the Christian God. It's a slow process but I am doing much better now without faith because I am able to see the world as it is and act accordingly. There are no surprises and everything makes sense. I feel much more sane and in control of my life.
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