[rorsvierwelia]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hall,

All equipment was put up, -save a rogue basketball;

The Bokken were hung by the Shomen with care,

In hopes that our head Sensei soon would be there;

The Kenshi were nestled all snug on the beds,

While visions of Kote-Men danced in their heads;

And Sempai in her Tenugui, and I in my men,

(Cheap one bought from e-bay; 'twas 10,000 yen)

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my futon, sword ready to splatter.

Away to the Shoji I flew and I posed,

-tripped right though the damn thing ('forgot it was closed)

The moon on the pond; Koi all frozen inside,

-Contrasts with the diving board, and mini-pool slide.

I saw to my wondering eyes- (I need glasses),

A super cheap Hyundai, and eight small Jack-asses,

With a little old driver, so lively and ginger,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Ninjer.

More filthy than pigeons his lamers they came,

And he burped, and hacked, and called them by name;

[I]"Now, Drexler! now, heathenblade! now Metsuke, Kensenbatusaii! CHANG-SI!
~on Kenshi07!, on Michiyo! and Khyronthekitsune!
(All seeking the power of fake Masamune.)

To the top of the roof! to the top of the wall!

Now post away! write away! flame away all!"

As twirling a wallhanger before backyards did fly,

When they meet with reality, self-delude to the sky,

So armed with a digi-cam and you-tube they flew,

With the head full of nonsense, and St. Ninjer too.

And then, in a twinkling, I viewed many a kid

The prancing and and dancing of each little vid.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Slipped on the pavement, Fat Ninjer came 'round.

He was garbed all in black, from his head to his arse,

As a wanna-be Bushi, he looked like a farce;

A bundle of swords on his back from Bud-K,

he looked like a wanker, all proud and quite gay.

His eyes -- how they shifted! his pimples how scary!

His cheeks were like chipmunks, his nose hairs quite harry!

The drool from his lips did hang thin to the snow,

And when the light hit it, I saw a rainbow!

Expounding his "sword skills", (which he held to quite dearly.)

~He sliced up some pork loins with "tameshigiri;"

He had a broad mug and a disgusting fat belly,

That shook, when he Kiaied, (and his feet were quite smelly.)

He was chubby and plump, a right cosplayer elf,

And I laughed at his Ninjer-skills, in spite of myself;

A pinch of his wink-eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know that he's soon be dead;(or severely maimed)

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And began his lame kata; like a big freakin' jerk,

And shoving his finger deep inside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up his own butt he rose;

He sprang to his Hyundai, to his team gave a yelp,

And away they all flew, seeking great mental help.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Go rin no sho!, I'm my own teacher! Good Night!!"




May you all have warmth, family, friendship and plenty of hot grog this season!

-Kenzan