[satthackacibe]

Thanks for all your kind words.........and Kenzan, your sig is SO true......

I did the wrong things, and should have done things which I simply couldnt manage at the time.
I was in search for answers to which the questions were long lost.......this silly quest and the misery inside me drove away the love of my life.

She has been the one that kept me going through times I would have given up on; I just never showed her properly.
I was unhappy, bad karma haunting me my entire life, I lost my self esteem untill I failed to believe she loved me back.
The day after we broke up she opened my eyes, she gave me an answer to all possible questions with an open heart and a few simple words.

"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you"

It werent the words, it was the true feeling behind them I felt, which I failed to see since a while. Through her tears, she lit up, smiled, and spoke them......

It made me realize more than I could ever expect...........in the end it was such a simple remedy to what caused so much misery......

I need to stop rationalizing (made worst decisions in life like this) and follow my heart like I once used to. No place in Kendo to think (yes Ignatz you were right all along) and for me I should stop overthinking anything in life in general.

I dont want to be the best person in the world, I just want to be good enough for me and the loved ones around me.
Next time I pick up my shinai in practise, it will be with an open mind and my kendo will come from my heart...........like anyting else I will do from now on..............

-Sebastian-