[dodsCooggipsedebt]

I failed my sandan exam three times, and I began to wonder what the heck was wrong with me. As I talked to more people about it, I found that almost everyone who had been at it for a decade or more had hit a wall at some point. Hearing about their experiences, and eventual success, gave me encouragement.

What worked for me was changing the way I practiced. I was still doing the same drills, but with a different goal and feeling in my mind. I rededicated myself to improving my posture, footwork, and swing, through suburi in front of a mirror. I approached every match like it was my sandan exam, and tried to enforce upon myself strict reliance on fundamentals to deal with my opponent, no matter what they were throwing at me. I forced myself to strike only when I felt very sure I had a good opportunity, and not just swing and hope. At first it seemed like I was going backwards for a while because I got hit a lot more, but along the way I started making better quality hits, with fewer failed attempts. I also gained a new appreciation of the subtleties of maai. Eventually I recovered confidence in my ability to learn, and improve.

Yorick, Kendo isn't for everyone, but if it is something you enjoy, and it has a beneficial effect on your life, keep at it. Getting stuck happens to a lot of us, and it can be overcome with a generous application of guts and fortitude. A certain amount of struggling is good for us, and succeeding despite setbacks is inspirational for others and for ourselves. My feeling is that quitting one endeavor because of a temporary setback is not a good way to set oneself up for success in the next endeavor. Some day you may become very seriously challenged by life events, and you may have to depend the self confidence you gained from seeing struggles like this through. Best of luck to you. Ganbatte!