[Agitoligflise]

With women cheating on men, and not telling them for years while their man raises another man's child- I think that such a lie goes on for so long, not because the woman is heartless, but because she doesn't have the courage to address such an issue and is afraid of what she'll lose- so she keeps it inside her hoping the pain will go away.
But this is the wrong way- no good can come of lies, honesty is always the best policey even if you haven't always been honest- if you lie, and keep it inside you, it will just become worse. If you've kept a lie inside you for years, its never too late; yes, you may lose your relationship, you may lose your family, or your friends or marriage etc- but the longer you lie, the worser the consequences will be. But unless you are truly heartless, you will never be able to keep that lie in you forever though as it'll tear you up and consume you eventually. So its better to be honest sooner rather than later.

But you never know, true love can be suprisingly strong- you may not lose everything, you may have to work very hard, but you can rebuild the trust if you are honest with yourself and the ones you love. Depending on the circumstances, cheating is not always the end of the relationship- many relationships do fully recover from affairs, but only when people become honest with each other, truly honest, and work hard to fix the wrongs that have been done and adress the reasons why they cheated in the first place etc...

But children.
I think parents should always put their children first when they have them- too many parents concentrate on whats best for them rather than their children. Children do best with two parents, not one.
If you are a guy and you find out your child is not your own, you should address your relationship, talk things over very thoroughly and keep your cool and assess the reality, posibilities and solutions of the situation- if you cannot handle your lover having being unfaithful though, don't just up and leave. There's still the child.
I think if a man takes on the responsability of a father, he should stick with that responsability and not just go when personal issues interfere, even if he finds out he isn't the biological father after a while.
I cannot imagine how heartbreaking for a child to find out their father left and did not want to know them just because he found out he wasn't their biological father- its like thats all that matters to him. Yes, its the mothers fault, but then again whats done is done, and the couple should work on what is best for the child in all of this.
Couples can divorce and still work together for the sake of the children involved. Couples can stay together, and raise a child that is not biologically their own. Couples can love one another even through the hardest, toughest hardships of life, and love the child they raise together despite the hardships of life.
Where there's love, compassion, kindness, understanding and tolerance- there's always hope "nods". We all make mistakes, sometimes huge ones, but where's theres hope we can always build a better future for one another .