DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Mediterraneans want to be liked, Northern Europeans prefer not to be disliked

**Gymngatagaica** · 09-01-2012, 12:48 PM

I guess I still don't get the connection between seeking approval or having a wide circle of friends and being hated/disliked

That's right. There isn't, and I didn't mention friends in my examples. Only being liked or disliked. It is not because someone likes you (very much) that they are necessarily your friends. The best example is stars or politicians, which can be liked or disliked by millions of people they have never met (and therefore cannot be their friends). The same is true of forums like here. Some people tend to seek approval, even if they have to create enemies, while other prefer avoiding at all cost being disliked, even if nobody or few people really like them. Anyway, we can't talk of "friends" here, as we don't know most people on the forum. The idea is : "when I post, do I instinctively try to avoid being criticized or disliked for what I say/write, or do I just express opinions so as to be applaused or liked just for the sake of it, which may also bring dislike or hatred from other people".

At any rate, I suppose I'd also fit the Northern European type since while I can almost completely ignore being disliked, particularly if I know the reasons behind it, having only a handful of close friends and confidantes is much more satisfying and easier to keep happy.

If you ignore being dislike, you fit in the Southern European model. Northern European care a lot about not being disliked. They feel so bad about being seen negatively, that they spend more time and energy trying to avoid being disliked, even if they end up not being much liked either.

I hope it's clearer.

09-01-2012, 12:48 PM	#17
Gymngatagaica Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 405 Senior Member	I guess I still don't get the connection between seeking approval or having a wide circle of friends and being hated/disliked That's right. There isn't, and I didn't mention friends in my examples. Only being liked or disliked. It is not because someone likes you (very much) that they are necessarily your friends. The best example is stars or politicians, which can be liked or disliked by millions of people they have never met (and therefore cannot be their friends). The same is true of forums like here. Some people tend to seek approval, even if they have to create enemies, while other prefer avoiding at all cost being disliked, even if nobody or few people really like them. Anyway, we can't talk of "friends" here, as we don't know most people on the forum. The idea is : "when I post, do I instinctively try to avoid being criticized or disliked for what I say/write, or do I just express opinions so as to be applaused or liked just for the sake of it, which may also bring dislike or hatred from other people". At any rate, I suppose I'd also fit the Northern European type since while I can almost completely ignore being disliked, particularly if I know the reasons behind it, having only a handful of close friends and confidantes is much more satisfying and easier to keep happy. If you ignore being dislike, you fit in the Southern European model. Northern European care a lot about not being disliked. They feel so bad about being seen negatively, that they spend more time and energy trying to avoid being disliked, even if they end up not being much liked either. I hope it's clearer.
	Quote