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Old 09-03-2012, 11:21 PM   #12
HilaryNidierer

Join Date
Oct 2005
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424
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Salam,

Sometimes i have an issue with Muslim men who talk about this issue, because they themselves do not follow the Deen and criticise women for not doing so. However i fully agree with the OP and most of the responses.

I am in my final year of Psychology and many studies (Mahoney and Stattin, 2000; Riley, 1987) have shown that time away from the parents, unstructured activities, neglect and all other types of abuse are MASSIVE FACTORS in what makes the child become delinquent and commit criminal behaviour. This deliquent behaviour can start as early as 2-3 years old (snatching toys from children etc.).

The problem is the destruction of the family structure (as mentioned before by brother mh16388).

Let's say women are EXACTLY EQUAL with men, then who does what? Where does the child go? Who looks after the child? Who is the man, who is the woman?

Obviously there is no issue with a woman working, but if she WAS EXACTLY EQUAL then she would have to provide just as the man does, and this nonsensical. It would not work practically in any way. Islam sets up ROLES for the family and the roles are simple and clear, women can go out, women can visit parents, friends, go shopping, work BUT ONLY THE MAN MUST PROVIDE. If the woman works or owns some property the husband has NO right to it, she can offer half the share, but it is not obligatory. It is a MUST on a man to provide for his family. The point is, it is ABOUT ROLES TO KEEP THE FAMILY TOGETHER AND NOT BE DESTROYED INTO NON-EXISTENCE.

Juvenile criminal behaviour is a serious concern in a lot of areas (gangs etc.), what happened to these children's parents? A child is supposed to go to school, play with friends and do homework NOT shoot, kill, steal, be part of a gang, hate.

In another study by Daly and Perez (2009) (you can check it up) THE MOTHER'S AGE AND SELF REGULATION OF THE CHILD were big factors in PRO-SOCIAL behaviour. If the child was not taught this self-regulatory mechanism, the child would not understand it's own emotions and perceptions and would would be a "troubled child" at school. Kicking, fighting, stealing going as far as manipulating. Who teaches this very basic stuff to their own child, if both parents ARE EXACTLY EQUAL and both working? The day care? Again, not practical.

Maternal and Paternal care is key in a child's development (and not just in terms of Freud). Many things come down to how you developed as a child from what care you got from your parents.

Other studies have been done to show that not having A FATHER FIGURE at home is a factor in future criminal behaviour for the offspring. Again pointing to the importance of a STRUCTURED FAMILY to get the best out of the child.


this issue requires some research and I am lucky that I have some studied relevant stuff but to pass judgement on the Islamic teaching of ROLES IN THE FAMILY without knowing the importance of family is ignorant.

In Conclusion, without a father and a mother the child will suffer in some way in future life. To make sure the child has a good future by this logic he/she needs a good father figure and a good mother figure with SPECIFIC ROLES.

Salam
Jazak Allah. two superb answers in one thread.
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