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**Abedgebeefs** · 09-04-2012, 12:21 AM

everyone

I think what makes women seem ‘inferior’ to their husbands is their having to obey their husband versus it being the other way around. If her husband refuses to let her see her parents, she’s not allowed but she, on the other hand, has no power stop him from visiting his. Some men won’t even allow their wives to leave their homes and they’re required to obey. Even if it’s as simple a matter as tieing one’s shoes in a certain way, she shouldn’t object. But the fact that she obeys doesn’t necessarily mean she is less intelligent than he or less knowledgeable just like subjects of a king can be more knowledgeable, courageous and intelligent than the king himself. All it is is a type of jihadunafs and a very difficult one at that if the husband is excessively controlling. Perhaps that’s why a wife that dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Jannah from any gate she chooses. May Allah SWT grant us all hayaatun dayyibatun.Ameen.

The woman is allowed to see her parents once a week if her husband is over protective and does not allow her to do anything (According to AskImam.org). The husband is not allowed to lock his wife up, this is domestic abuse and it is not allowed. Yes the wife must obey the husband in lawful matters. But the husband is not allowed to abuse his wife and keep her from the world. The husband has to be obeyed (within reason), the wife obeying the husband does not mean she has to obey EVERYTHING, she has to obey her husband in lawful matters which do not go against her Deen and that do not harm her.

There is a hadith in which Abu Sufyan's (ra) wife goes to the Prophet (pbuh) and says to Him "my husband is stingy with money can I take money from him (without his permission) to feed me and my children?" Muhammad (pbuh) replied "yes you may... within reason."

The point is, yes husband is the leader of the family (due to there having to be roles in a family, as stated before in my previous post) but this leader is not to abuse his wife or children, but to keep the structure and it is most logical. Why?

1. The man provides for the wife and his children, he gives from what he earns to his wife and family.
2. The man protects his family.
3. The structure of the family is important, roles are important.

Using this logic, women having to obey her husband is normal. Because if her husband is providing for her, protecting her and should be loving to her, help her in the house (Sunnah), the woman should respect her husband due to what he does for her and the house. It would make no sense if the husband works really hard for his family and he comes home to the wife being disrespectful etc.

Note: There is nothing wrong with the wife "wearing the pants" in the relationship, having a stronger personality etc. (Again this is in the Hadith)

Salam.

09-04-2012, 12:21 AM	#20
Abedgebeefs Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 422 Senior Member	everyone I think what makes women seem ‘inferior’ to their husbands is their having to obey their husband versus it being the other way around. If her husband refuses to let her see her parents, she’s not allowed but she, on the other hand, has no power stop him from visiting his. Some men won’t even allow their wives to leave their homes and they’re required to obey. Even if it’s as simple a matter as tieing one’s shoes in a certain way, she shouldn’t object. But the fact that she obeys doesn’t necessarily mean she is less intelligent than he or less knowledgeable just like subjects of a king can be more knowledgeable, courageous and intelligent than the king himself. All it is is a type of jihadunafs and a very difficult one at that if the husband is excessively controlling. Perhaps that’s why a wife that dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Jannah from any gate she chooses. May Allah SWT grant us all hayaatun dayyibatun.Ameen. The woman is allowed to see her parents once a week if her husband is over protective and does not allow her to do anything (According to AskImam.org). The husband is not allowed to lock his wife up, this is domestic abuse and it is not allowed. Yes the wife must obey the husband in lawful matters. But the husband is not allowed to abuse his wife and keep her from the world. The husband has to be obeyed (within reason), the wife obeying the husband does not mean she has to obey EVERYTHING, she has to obey her husband in lawful matters which do not go against her Deen and that do not harm her. There is a hadith in which Abu Sufyan's (ra) wife goes to the Prophet (pbuh) and says to Him "my husband is stingy with money can I take money from him (without his permission) to feed me and my children?" Muhammad (pbuh) replied "yes you may... within reason." The point is, yes husband is the leader of the family (due to there having to be roles in a family, as stated before in my previous post) but this leader is not to abuse his wife or children, but to keep the structure and it is most logical. Why? 1. The man provides for the wife and his children, he gives from what he earns to his wife and family. 2. The man protects his family. 3. The structure of the family is important, roles are important. Using this logic, women having to obey her husband is normal. Because if her husband is providing for her, protecting her and should be loving to her, help her in the house (Sunnah), the woman should respect her husband due to what he does for her and the house. It would make no sense if the husband works really hard for his family and he comes home to the wife being disrespectful etc. Note: There is nothing wrong with the wife "wearing the pants" in the relationship, having a stronger personality etc. (Again this is in the Hadith) Salam.
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