DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - having a crush on someone.. can she be my wife?

**evalayCap** · 09-04-2012, 12:21 AM

I'm curious to know this.. and I feel awkward asking this to a imam or scholar.. If you like a girl on earth.. who is a Christian.. and you really like her.. But because you fear God and you choose not 2 speak 2 her.. because you believe in Oneness of Allah.. and believe in the Divine Messengers of God from Abraham , to Moses, and Jesus and Muahmmad (Peace be upon them all) ... and no matter what you wont change that belief for any one.. and also you never tell the girl that u like her.. so you avoid her and stay away from her.. but you really like her.. and respect her.. and want her to be happy no matter what.. can she be my wife in Akirah (after life)? I mean if a person who does good deeds and does what he is supposed to.. I mean is this possible.. I am curious to know.. :/

Brother how old are you? To be honest every year which passes and every new environment a guy find himself and I am sure many guys will attest to that - there will be one girl who generally will always stand out from the crowd more than others and you will have a greater 'crush' on her.
One can have different crushes every year and think 'wow what a mashAllah'.
Especially if you dont talk to her, you will be more attracted as you wont know her flaws.
So dont be deceived by 'this girl is so uniquely attractive'. If you are a frequent changer of environments and have frequent visual or incidental social/occupational/conversational contact with different females you will notice this trend of crushes changing every time, probably every year and realize this is all deceitful play of shaytan and your nafs rather than a rational conscience affinity for the girl, her personality and her character. If you are a few months or a year away from any contact with the girl suddenly the crush is no longer there.

There was an awesome fatwa by a salafi scholar, I have failed to find it today - an audio tape which when you hear you will forget all this emotional confusion about falling for a single girl. That salafi scholar puts it frankly in a 1 minute video. When you hear it, your nafs is immediately effaced of all this fantasies just by the way he speaks and dismisses this illusion of this monogamous crush fantasy. Its speaking from even a rational perspective out-of-principle for a male to have a crush on one lady. WE are not monogamous in even marriage according to Islam let alone crushes which exist only in the mind.

09-04-2012, 12:21 AM	#31
evalayCap Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 438 Senior Member	I'm curious to know this.. and I feel awkward asking this to a imam or scholar.. If you like a girl on earth.. who is a Christian.. and you really like her.. But because you fear God and you choose not 2 speak 2 her.. because you believe in Oneness of Allah.. and believe in the Divine Messengers of God from Abraham , to Moses, and Jesus and Muahmmad (Peace be upon them all) ... and no matter what you wont change that belief for any one.. and also you never tell the girl that u like her.. so you avoid her and stay away from her.. but you really like her.. and respect her.. and want her to be happy no matter what.. can she be my wife in Akirah (after life)? I mean if a person who does good deeds and does what he is supposed to.. I mean is this possible.. I am curious to know.. :/ Brother how old are you? To be honest every year which passes and every new environment a guy find himself and I am sure many guys will attest to that - there will be one girl who generally will always stand out from the crowd more than others and you will have a greater 'crush' on her. One can have different crushes every year and think 'wow what a mashAllah'. Especially if you dont talk to her, you will be more attracted as you wont know her flaws. So dont be deceived by 'this girl is so uniquely attractive'. If you are a frequent changer of environments and have frequent visual or incidental social/occupational/conversational contact with different females you will notice this trend of crushes changing every time, probably every year and realize this is all deceitful play of shaytan and your nafs rather than a rational conscience affinity for the girl, her personality and her character. If you are a few months or a year away from any contact with the girl suddenly the crush is no longer there. There was an awesome fatwa by a salafi scholar, I have failed to find it today - an audio tape which when you hear you will forget all this emotional confusion about falling for a single girl. That salafi scholar puts it frankly in a 1 minute video. When you hear it, your nafs is immediately effaced of all this fantasies just by the way he speaks and dismisses this illusion of this monogamous crush fantasy. Its speaking from even a rational perspective out-of-principle for a male to have a crush on one lady. WE are not monogamous in even marriage according to Islam let alone crushes which exist only in the mind.
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