[Goodwin]

Maybe on the outside she looks like an angel but inside she is a devil.

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته و مغفرته

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

What on earth does that mean????

~

I am currently attending university and am in a similar situation to you. Someone else mentioned nicely that there is always one girl that stands out of the crowd. And another (maybe the same) mentioned it's easy to get infatuated with a girl you don't know as you are oblivious to her faults. During this past year I have come to realise that I have been deluding myself and wasting my time pining over this girl. When I really sit down and examine my feelings, it's downright embarrassing. Whenever I relapse and start to think about her, I try to restir those emotions of mine of embarrassment and the pathetic nature of my feelings.

We men spend so much time thinking about women it's quite (my vocabulary seems limited tonight) embarrassing. As young men we think about women, as we grow older we think about them in marriage, as we find marriage is not the dream we imagined we go back to thinking about other women we see. Only if Allah SWT blesses us with old age may we actually reach a stage when we are free from this naturally due to age and can die with a period of time where our thoughts are free from this. Short of this, we have to control our thoughts and struggle. However you do that that is upto you as long as it's halaal.

For me, its thinking about the pathetic nature of my infatuation, as well as the fact that women certainly do not think about us men as much. Why should we reduce ourselves to becoming slaves in our minds over them?

For others, it might be something else, trust in Allah to find them a pious spouse, hooris, jannah etc. Put your faith in women to satisfy your mental, physical and emotional needs and you will be disappointed, put that faith in Allah SWT and you will never be disappointed. Easier said than done however. Change the word women to people and if I could master that one statement I would consider it my objective in this life as a Muslim fulfilled since the crux of the issue is looking to others for happiness rather than looking to Allah SWT to make us happy. If we looked to Allah SWT with yakeen, tawakkul and hope, everything else will follow. The faraaidh, the sunnan and the nawaafil, tranquility in the heart and most importantly the pleasure of Allah SWT.

I know I did not answer any of your questions, but I figured as someone who is in the same position, I could share my thoughts, whatever little help they may be. I just get really frustrated with this aspect of my life and I request du'aas for everyone to put my faith in Allah SWT, and through it, open my heart to living every moment of my life with His remembrance constantly within my mind and heart.

Apologies if this came across as a rant/rude to women, it was not meant to be. It's just a particular weakness of mine that frustrates me more than all my other weaknesses combined.