[Dyerryjex]

sister, your situation is very serious and you should take it to scholars - either here (on SF) or wherever you live, wherever you feel comfortable.

@ brother Jsmith - I understand what you are suggesting brother but this is a very serious matter involving a number of women and to continue to turn the other way lets men who have forgotten the One they will answer to on the Day of Judgment, get away with injustice and oppression here. We all have a duty to our ummah to safeguard one another within the parameters of shariah. As such, not only for herself but for the safety of the other woman (and perhaps others who may be involved - like the mother-in-law, perhaps daughters or sons from either marriage, perhaps other women too...) this matter needs to be brought to the attention of Islamic scholars.

@ brother Warea - I understand what you are saying brother but getting the law involved does not always bring justice. Some attacks are within the confines of the relationship while others are outside, in retaliation or what have you.

There needs to be a balance and support from the ummah, and perhaps the best way to get at that balance is to seek the assistance of Islamic scholars or Islamic organizations/institutions that deal with such matters .

[edit: sister, you should be able to seek a solution within the parameters of Islamic shariah law and forgive (if you wish) any past injustices - whether you tell him or not. May Allah give you strength and guide you to the best solution for you both here and in the hereafter. Ameen.]