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Old 09-04-2012, 12:22 AM   #14
Nppracph

Join Date
Nov 2005
Posts
356
Senior Member
Default
Walikum Salam,

I will not comment on Sister's issue, may Allah (swt) help her get out of her problems. Ameen.

You logic is good too but I will defend myself as that

No one wishes to be ill-treated. But when some calamity comes from Allah (swt), then we should show patience.

For example, Joseph (as) did not want to be ill-treated, he was innocent, he did nothing wrong to King's wife and King's wife accused him of having evil intentions and Joseph (as) told King that it was his wife having such intentions and one person also witnessed that Joseph (as) is innocent and King's wife is actually evil but even they they jailed Joseph (as) and he had to live inside jail for many years.

Conclusion

Try your best to save yourself from any misfortune or calamity, but if misfortune or calamity comes, then show patience and trust in Allah (swt).

My own life experience

I have been mistreated by many people, I started taking revenge and whenever I took revenge from people, I found, either I have revenged less than they deserve or I have revenged more then they deserve, so I started feeling uncomfortable, I thought, instead of taking revenge, I should leave my matters to Allah (swt). If someone has mistreated me actually, then Allah (swt) will take my revenge and compensate me and if I just have a feeling that I have been mistreated and actually not, then I will be safe from having a sin of taking unjust revenge.

Even, when I take revenge, I find my problems increased more than theirs.

But when I adopted this approach of not taking revenge from others for being mistreated, I found, Allah (swt) blessed me with lot of blessings which I could never get by myself. And I found those people who have mistreated me fell in their own pits which they dug for me.

So that's why, I say, Allah (swt) is the best Al-Muntaqim (Avenger)
Dear brother, taking divorce is not taking revenge. In a womens case it's not even talaq it's khula. Allah has allowed a women to seek Khula in cases like this where a husband is abusing his wife. She in no way is seeking revenge, she is worried about her safety, she is clearly in a horrid situation and is merely seeking s mean to be treatec kindly with respecf. Clearly this is a desperate situation and it's one that requires drastic measures. Allah requires patients yes, and she has shown sabarain. Allah also says do not bring destruction by your own hand in this situation waiting around could cause her more harm than good. If a couple were having a dispute over minor things such a work, kids or housing then patients is a must. However if an individual see's no means of recogcilation then talaq/khula is a last resort. It's clear this sister has tried and been patient. For her own sake she must leave. Anything could get worse if she stays. Leopards don't change there spots, her husband is not going to change I doubt. She has been through enough I really want to help her. If I could Id take her to my house and advice her further etc
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