[MattJargin]

Brothers and sisters in Islam

I have now read several threads regarding how some are struggling to enjoy their marriages and communication difficulties with their spouses.
I know very little about arranged marriages, nikah etc but would like to offer advice regarding my own experience. If a couple are starting married life together and know very little about each other it can be daunting for both parties. However it is also one of the most special, exciting times as you look forward to spending the rest of your lives together.

If you are finding it difficult to talk about private things with your spouse, like what you like and don’t like etc then I found that one of the best ways to communicate was by writing to each other and reading each others letters. You will be surprised how much you can learn about each other through letters. It may sound a little silly when you are living in the same house however you can express your true feelings on paper to start with. You will be surprised how much you come to know each other this way. You can write to each other once a week , include all your hopes and dreams, worries and concerns. It is much more difficult for a man to express himself and have an emotional connection with a woman than vice versa. He first must get to know everything about his wife and her personality in order to have an emotional, deep connection with her. This takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. You must persevere together with kindness, respect, modesty and compassion for each other. Never give up trying or hope, even the most incompatible couples at the onset of marriage can learn to have a loving partnership together. Communication is key! And finding a handwritten letter around the house from your spouse is also fun. Try it and see and remember that Allah (swt) is guiding you on your journey together.