[karaburatoreror]

You've all misunderstood me :-(. I didn't literally mean rape... that's why I put it in inverted commas.

Use this example, in previous generations it was common for the spouses' parents/relatives to meet and agree to the marriage without the bride / groom ever meeting. They were both satisfied with their parent's choice. They didn't even speak on the phone if it existed. OK. On the wedding day you sit next to each other but you don't get to know each other? Then few hours later you are alone in the bedroom and within few hours you are supposed to consummate without hardly knowing each other. That's a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig step! I know about the ahadith about foreplay, etc - I'm not talking about this aspect.

Understand now?

In some ways the non Muslim method of dating, getting to know each other before marriage before the act would "seem" better. But this goes against Islamic principles of no physical intimacy outside of marriage, being in private unmarried and so forth.

The Prophet did allow some leeway to the prospective spouses getting to know each other before the Nikah ceremony, provided Islamic rules of modesty are attained and the couple aren't in complete seclusion. We all know this but sometimes even today this recommendation isn't executed. Either they don't see each other at all like in previous generations or they go further than what is permitted Islamically.