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AA Brothers and Sisters,

I am struggling with my deen, the waswas has intensified to the point I feel now all the bad thoughts
I am having about Allah SWT are voluntarily.

I feel so hopeless and defeated for I know deep down in my heart that Allah has made Islam easy yet I
have turned something with ease to become so difficult on myself.

I love Allah with all my soul and the fact that I somewhat feel I've betrayed Allah makes me upset at
myself. I sometimes wish life could rewind back to last year when I use to put all my trust in Allah on
any small or big matter.

I try to keep my mind busy on proactive and useful matters but it just keeps coming again and again.

Alhamduilah my anxiety and fears have gone away but sometimes I think maybe Allah has removed the
anxieties away from me in this life only to punish me in the next life.

I really need encouragement and support and I can't really speak this to my family because I fear that
they might think I am a weak Muslimah.

I pray for Allah to keep the believing men and believing woman to remain steadfast in their deen and die as true Muslims Inshallah

sister,

Allah is to a believer how the believer thinks of him so we must Always have a good opinion of Allah

Allah is so merciful that no matter what condition we are in we can still attain his mercy and pleasure

If He chooses to place us in hardship we make lots of sabr and that is pleasing to Allah

If He chooses to give us ease we make lots of shukr and we attain reward for that

ignore the bad thoughts... every time they come remove them by doing excessive dhikr and lots of durood this way the shaytan will leave you alone as he will know that all his whispers do is cause you to do more dhikr and receive more reward

All of us from time to time suffer from these whisperings its not something we should feel down about, it is a sign of Imaan in itself.

wallahu alam