[inchaaruutaa]

Solom, the day comes that you NEED help because of those carebears you don't see worthy of being killed in combat they encourage to continue, your going to find a different person standing at the end of the gun. Not exactly how you imagine it, but I can bet you that if that time ever comes it will be a person you don't care exists and didn't pay enough (lack of a better word) respect to for what he/she did.


I could care less of all of your opinions about me. Call me crazy, fu.ck it I told the psych that myself in a psych eval a few months ago...but I actually passed that eval just fine and the doc recommended i take psychology in school (screw that, i don't care to know people any better than i already do). But Solom this is something you won't trully understand coming from someone elses mouth (or don't care to even try to understand coming from me specifically)

When you are told that you are being uprooted and going to war the world changes for you. It is different in everyone, for me it was imminent fear of death mixed with "this is what I was trained to do" excitement. When we got hit by an IED the first time it was like being transported onto an alien world. I knew what to do, I was already ready to go, and I reacted how I was trained to react. You get into a mindset that is all actions and thought is mixed into the adrenaline so you don't actually think because it is all processed (you won't understand this unless you have been shot at, you are thinking but actions and thought at merged in a way). The first time I saw a friend get hit it was just like a movie, no sound, no motion, just my friend, a guy I had known for about a year, body falling over and then crimson red and dirt. He lived, just got hit in the leg, not a bad wound actually, but it was still the first time I was in that kind of sh.it. Now did I feel I the enemy needed to die? At that moment yes, because they felt I didn't deserve to live. The enemy sees it that way, and do not try to misconstrue this because past actions are more than enough fact for this statement, our enemy wants us dead, rotting, birds eating our corpses. They don't want to maim us, to scratch us, to hurt our feelings. They want us dead. Now when you are being shot at by a person who you know will not hesitate to shoot you if you hesitate to shoot them you stop thinking about should I kill or just hurt him. When you got bullets flying and RPGs flying (not the intense intense combat in movies) you do not consider "shoot in the knees". I didn't consider them as anything more than a target. Call it brainwashed...but like I said, you won't understand until you have personally lived it.