[johnstylet]

"Do we Pay for our fathers sins?" is a Good question, but shouldn't it have a second part..."Do we LEARN from our fathers sins?"

I paid for my fathers alcoholism, with low self esteem / sense of self worth. I paid by growing up in a confusing family. Often a lot of fun, and very loving, then out of nowhere it would be unsettled. [Dad was a happy drunk usually, but the bad hangovers were hell.] I paid when my mother couldn't take it like that any more and divorced him. I paid as I watched him fall deeper and deeper into the pit of alcoholism and was unable to help.

I learned that it was not my fault. I learned to read peoples moods. I learned to make the hard decisions, and put the greater good of my children over everything else. I learned that I couldn't do the impossible, not was I responsible for my fathers faults and illnesses. I learned unconditional love and forgiveness, both how to give and how to receive. I learned that parents are not perfect, and and we love them anyway. I learned kids don't have to be perfect to "earn" a parents love.

And I learned that an imperfect father can become the worlds most Perfect Grandfather!