[catermos]

Good morning everyone,

Thank you so much for your input thus far. I would like to believe I am quite young at a revived spirit level, and thus I am still very bounded but wordly things. Following a spiritual awakening quite recently, I have seen some amazing things and have witnessed at my own account what a simple apology can bring. I realised that, even if internally when I feel I am not at wrong, if I try to be humble and apologise rather to save a relationship as appose to putting my ego first, I am in the position to overcome not just the anger I have, but also save a possible relationship.

I however realise now that I was asking for advice but not giving the correct mindset, or where the origin of my troubles are coming from. Regarding humility, I have always been a strong willed character and I want to believe that career wise I have been strong due to worldy reasons. Now, I find myself in a position that I understand that if I want internal peace, I need to walk on the road which will lead to peace. So, I feel that going into an altercation, sometimes without a choice in the matter, I need to practise humility (or by my definition be apologetic to avoid conflict).

This, however, is something which I am struggling with as it's in direct conflict with the personality I believe I have. I understand that my desires really is to lead a life where I have peace with everyone and everyone has peace with me, so it's a conflict which builds up inside of me and does not resort to peace, it resorts to me still being somewhat angry and also feel I am forcing myself into a weaker position, if this makes sense.

Regarding protectiveness, we recently had an incident in our family where one of my close relatives was "tricked" (for a lack of a better word) by another family member. As this person is very close to me, and understanding that she out of best interest would not make anything out of this, rather put herself in a very unsuitable financial situation, I felt obligated to step in. I did not, and thus far have been able to not intervene, but as I feel protective over the family member, I am not at peace with the situation. I understand that this matter is regarding finances, but my relative really relies on the finances for her well-being and it breaks me to see her in such a position.

I think at a base level, I feel that I still daily get sucked in with worldy worries, and at core I do not want this to consume the strength or viewpoints I have got to thus far, I am torn between 2 worlds and I understand at core what I need to strive towards, but I need to find a balance where I can get inner peace. I hope this gives you a bit better insight as to my situation

Thank you again for each persons input, I greatly appreciate it.