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**virtuah** · 07-24-2012, 01:47 PM

Hello, everyone. My name describes me pretty well. About a year ago I suffered from my first existential crisis while going over Existentialism in English. Funny. A whole 18 years of being spiritual were gone in 2 weeks. I don't know if anyone else here has succumbed to an Existential crisis, but its one of the worst feelings I could fathom.

I no longer feel peace. I tried going back to my old spirituality (just a belief in an order and supernatural things Science hasn't considered, like ghosts and astral travel etc etc etc.) but it was too late. It made no sense anymore. Life makes no sense anymore. Worst of all, I've come to realize I will die someday and that scares me. Nonexistence scares me. I feel trapped in a body doomed to rot. Like if you were stuck inside a reckless car with no driver heading towards a 1000 foot fall.

Existence isn't much better either. It seems absurd, mortal, stupid. Even though I'm not even 20, i feel like an old man, and even though people surround me, i feel completely alone. Everything i do is out of fear of death, like i NEED to do things. Time is running out for me. I don't know
I guess im just scared of looking inside and finding this big, black void that is eternal. I don't trust life. I don't trust people.

I don't trust my own self. I've had enough. This is horrible. If i have to be annihilated by a black void to end this fearful dilemma, then i will look inside. I'm here to take on a spiritual journey, if it means the end of me. Any help will be appreciated.

07-24-2012, 01:47 PM	#1
virtuah Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 357 Senior Member	S.O.S Hello, everyone. My name describes me pretty well. About a year ago I suffered from my first existential crisis while going over Existentialism in English. Funny. A whole 18 years of being spiritual were gone in 2 weeks. I don't know if anyone else here has succumbed to an Existential crisis, but its one of the worst feelings I could fathom. I no longer feel peace. I tried going back to my old spirituality (just a belief in an order and supernatural things Science hasn't considered, like ghosts and astral travel etc etc etc.) but it was too late. It made no sense anymore. Life makes no sense anymore. Worst of all, I've come to realize I will die someday and that scares me. Nonexistence scares me. I feel trapped in a body doomed to rot. Like if you were stuck inside a reckless car with no driver heading towards a 1000 foot fall. Existence isn't much better either. It seems absurd, mortal, stupid. Even though I'm not even 20, i feel like an old man, and even though people surround me, i feel completely alone. Everything i do is out of fear of death, like i NEED to do things. Time is running out for me. I don't know I guess im just scared of looking inside and finding this big, black void that is eternal. I don't trust life. I don't trust people. I don't trust my own self. I've had enough. This is horrible. If i have to be annihilated by a black void to end this fearful dilemma, then i will look inside. I'm here to take on a spiritual journey, if it means the end of me. Any help will be appreciated.
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