[statistica]

So, I'm not so sure how to start this, but...here we go.

I am 21 years old with a lot of experience under my belt. I have been through a pretty daunting life and have experienced much more than most people my age. This experience led me from Christianity from the age of 11 to Atheism. I have now found Buddhism as not a religion, but more of a lifestyle. For 3 years now I have read, studied, and practiced being a Buddhist as best as I can. Learning the eightfold path and other things such as this. My life is nowhere near as bad as third-world country lifestyles, but here is my problem...

I believe I am so Americanized that I can no longer rid myself of these feelings I have. I want to just let go, but it is so hard and most of my thoughts go against it. I want to become a musician as art and writing means the world to me. How can I become a Buddhist and not worry about it if I lose it? If I lose it, I lose my world. I do not care about being famous, but I want to be happy and not suffer from a stressful life. I need to do things on my own now, and not live for others. I feel as if it is such a selfish thing to do.

With this stress in my life, I think I am either losing hair from it and having other medical problems. I was wondering if the mind can cure me of this. I was wondering if the quote, "What you think, you become." will actually solve my problems. Suffering is such an Americanized trait that I regret feeling, but I cannot help it. I need to understand how to not suffer, but also stay human. Someone explain this to me.


I am sorry for either poor grammar, spelling errors, or other things of the sort. I am extremely tired as of right now and haven't proofread this at all. I assure you I will construct posts in the future of greater value and worth.

Thank you.