[PemiaGefe]

How does a peaceful person avoid other people wanting to argue? I go through life as peaceful as possible and avoid arguments, trying to just discuss peacefully instead. But it always seems like other people want to start an argument. My real question is, where does one get enough patients to go through life peacefully and happily without wanting to move into a cave somewhere?

My little world seems to be full of unhappy people. For example, my grandfather and uncles are always worried about things they have no control of. They become very upset about things and start yelling at me and putting me down. Actually, this is what I grew up with. You would think I would be used to it by now at 28. I don't argue back and I do everything they want me to do, but that seems to get everyone even more fixated on me. The more peaceful I try to be, the more angry everyone seems to get.

I know I shouldn't take things so personally, and that their aggression is really from their own problems. Needless to say, none of them are Buddhists! Actually, my grandfather is an insecure guy who at one time was a marine drill sergeant. It took me along time to figure this out, but I believe he carries around a lot of self-guilt because of the way his sons (including my dad) turned out. Actually he is the one who raised me, which is why I mention him.

To be honest, these past few years I have felt like life itself is fixated on bullying me the same way. Everywhere I go, in the work-place, around friends, or at home, people seem to just look at me and become angry. I even have a constant stream of bad luck, financially and with my health, that has all played havoc on my worldview.

I have just discovered Buddhism a couple years ago and was wondering how you guys would advise me on how to deal with people. Where do I get the patients to be endlessly bombarded?