[JoZertekAdv]

I have always desired a family and a loving wife, is this allowed in budhism because there is allot of emotion there, love and desire being the obvious ones.

hi Justen

when taking an interest in Buddhism, it is very important to distinguish between the life of a monk and the life of a lay person

Buddha taught teachings for both monks and lay people

today, as Westerners, we learn Buddhism is the Four Noble Truths. but when the Buddha was alive, he generally only taught the Four Noble Truths to monks

in his 1st sermon, on the Four Noble Truths, the Buddha taught the Four Noble Truths were for those who had left the household life:

Monks, these two extremes ought not to be practiced by one who has gone forth from the household life. (What are the two?) There is addiction to indulgence of sense-pleasures, which is low, coarse, the way of ordinary people, unworthy and unprofitable; and there is addiction to self-mortification, which is painful, unworthy and unprofitable.

Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta about marriage, the Buddha offered many teachings and encouraged marriage for people who wished for it, as follows:

To support one's father & mother; to cherish one's wife & children and to be engaged in peaceful occupations — this is the highest blessing.

Liberality, righteous conduct, rendering assistance to relatives and performance of blameless deeds — this is the highest blessing.

Maha-mangala Sutta: Blessings [the Buddha said:]

If both husband & wife want to see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come, they should be in tune [with each other] in conviction, in tune in virtue, in tune in generosity and in tune in wisdom. Then they will see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come.

Husband & wife, both of them
having conviction,
being responsive,
being restrained,
living by the Dhamma,
addressing each other
with loving words:
they benefit in manifold ways.
To them comes bliss.

When both are in tune in virtue.
Having followed the Dhamma here in this world,
both in tune in precepts & practices,
they delight in the world of the devas (gods),
enjoying the pleasures they desire.

Samajivina Sutta: Living in Tune In five ways, young householder, should a wife as the West be ministered to by a husband:

(i) by being courteous to her,
(ii) by not despising her,
(iii) by being faithful to her,
(iv) by handing over authority to her,
(v) by providing her with adornments.

The wife thus ministered to as the West by her husband shows her compassion to her husband in five ways:

(i) she performs her duties well,
(ii) she is hospitable to relations and attendants
(iii) she is faithful,
(iv) she protects what he brings,
(v) she is skilled and industrious in discharging her duties.

In these five ways does the wife show her compassion to her husband who ministers to her as the West. Thus is the West covered by him and made safe and secure.

Sigalovada Sutta: The Layperson's Code of Discipline
kind regards

element