[pGJLweEw]

I hate lying... I really do. But I don't know how I can tell my parents the truth about me being a Buddhist. They are very strict Christians and if I were to tell them that I no longer follow their faith, I would be kicked out before you could recite the Eightfold Path.

The only people that know of me being a Buddhist are my boyfriend and my counselor, and since then my counselor, being as awesome as she is, has been lending me meditation cd's as well as Buddhist devotional books. My parents don't know about these, they think that they're just books that'll help me with my depression.

Lately, I've had conflicts with my Christian friends, my dad, and my mom. Everything they say and do about it just bugs me! I don't want to have to believe this, but I don't want to tell them that I believe otherwise. I can't tell them that. The other day, my mother and I were riding home from my bible study and she asked me to promise her that I would pray for my dad. Pray that he would see what he has been doing wrong and that his new counselor will help him and that our relationship with him can begin to mend. I didn't know what else to do but promise her I would, and I did, to some extent.

I got down on my knees and did the whole "Dear God," thing, but it just wasn't right. I wasn't talking to God, and even if I was, I clearly didn't do it intentionally. I want nothing to do with anyone who decides that one can live forever and that another who chooses not to follow him will be sentenced to unimaginable torture for all eternity. But that's another story.

Furthermore, I'm starting to lose it in youth group. I'm a debater. As a Buddhist, I have learned accept that as a fact. But when I start rebounding the beliefs of my friends with examples like Crusades, they end up with hurt feelings and some suspicion on who I am really loyal to...

I really could use some guidance and advice in this situation, any help that anoyone can offer me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you