[Vigeommighica]

I think the practice is more about your relationship with discomfort and difficulty than finding wholeness and comfort. I used to hear the expression that bodhisattvas work "in the midst of the fire."

You know, there aren't as many buddhists in india as you would expect. I'm not sure of the date, but at a certain point between the 5th and 15th centuries (lmao that's quite a span of time, sorry) Muslims invaded northern india and slaughtered many buddhists as idolaters. The only reason why the buddhadharma really survived was it's transmission to sri lanka (that tiny little island country south of india) in the form of the theravada (thera means "elder", vada meaning "school"... school of the elders)

I'm taking the five precepts soon with my own group here where I live. I've only been practicing meditation for a couple of years, but I have to tell you that it's become so precious to me. I've met so many kind and beautiful teachers. It's like learning how to love someone. lol. I don't know how I mean.

Your story makes me think of the little robe that laypeople get when they do the jukai ceremony in zen buddhism. That's what I practice, is zen. Jukai is sort of like a right of passage where you officially take refuge. The little robes are little because in ancient china, there was a time when buddhists were persecuted. The zen priests started wearing these little "rukusu" or tiny robes under their clothes so that they could still "clothe themselves in the dharma"

You'll just have to learn how to wear your rukusu under your t-shirt until you can find a way to dialogue with your parents about this. I take it that your young, but I was in middle school when I first got interested in buddhism. My best friend's family was zen, and it's been a love affair ever since. Not to say that it's always sunshine and roses. Buddha's revolutionary teaching was not to struggle against the pain in our life. That's how we create peace.

About your parents, it can be difficult. I grew up in a very conservative roman catholic family. When I told one of my aunts that I wanted to be a buddhist (I think I was in seventh grade at the time) she told me "That's satanic!" I remember feeling so angry at her!

As for your parent's quest for eternal salvation through the grace of faith in jesus... who knows? the consolation of faith (any faith) is not the reward at the end of the journey that you get for having had faith. It's the quality of life that that faith (I think it's more like "trust" than faith. Not trust in something, just trust. Think about that!) gives you. Faith can empower people toward a lot of wonderful things, and give them the ability to endure alot of pain.

So don't think too badly of them (I'm sure you don't). The buddha said "a single word giving peace to the listener is worth more than a thousand empty words" I'm paraphrasing that, of course, but that's the gist of what he said.