Hi David, Your post has many insightful questions about your life and the relationships in it. That talks about being a Buddhist. A good one. Love is not the same as attachment. When there is love it is known that the loved object is not yours, do not belongs to your will but when it is attachment, the feeling is of ownership. We all have loved ones and to be a Buddhist do not mean to be indifferent toward them. To love means to take care of that object of love, to respect it, to know it, to respond toward it; but always knowing that she/he/it do not belongs to your will. Romance is a kind of idealization of the object of love where you put what you want -or need- to see in it, but it is not true love because it lacks the condition of knowledge about the loved one. And because it is illusory -as any delusion- it leads sooner or later, to unsatisfactoriness. To pain and suffering for you and the other one. Love that girl as she is and not as you think she is; for that you need to know her well. Be patient. Just try to breath for a few minutes. Feel at peace, and keep in your duties.