[Finanziamento]

Hello David,

Just a few words as a Dhamma friend here, and trying to do my best.

You have to work with yourself first. To love yourself. Accept yourself right now as you are right now.

But to love your self it is needed self knowledge, self care, self respect, and to respond to yourself.

As you are interested in what Buddha taught, it is important to give your self a break and to reset your beliefs and start anew.

Let go that difficult past you have had. It is a useless burden that will make of this new start with what Buddha taught, difficult.

Remember to breath softly until your body and mind are at ease and calm.

Do this, alone, in your room if possible, any time you feel angry. Accept that anger, aware that it is there, and let it go. This do not make you a bad person by any means.

I highly recommend you some sort of loving kindness meditation, too.

This meditation is about having loving kindness thoughts to people in different stages... from the loved and liked ones first toward the ones you feel some anger at the very end but the most important person, at the center of this meditation, has to be yourself.

You are not alone in this path. I think you are not a terrible person. The time when you felt hate to different people is gone.

That time has gone away.

Maybe Aloka will show up latter on with some recommendation about loving kindness and metta meditations.

Maybe this can be of some help:

"Loving Kindness Meditation"

Remember: "Be the main protagonist of this meditation" and do not forget to breath.