[WelcomeMe]

dear david ,

sorry I am comming in on this question a little late so I'll try to address main points ,

in this post you ask about anger ?

and talk about racism , family background and christianity .

you mention allso buddhist refuge ,

(this subject I have allready discussed in a seperate thread ) , so I'll return to this subject at the end , because it is the best bit

so , I will start with the not so happy bits first , but do not worry this feeling of struggling comes to most of us at some time in our lives , and living with ones parents can be difficult especialy when one grows up to find that not all values are shared !

on the subject of racism , for some of the older generations the racist veiws that they hold have been handed down for generations and have come about through fear of the unknown , the younger generations have had more experience of living in a multi cultural world , they have had more chance to get to know people of other races ,

I have experienced this first hand with my family , they are uncomfortable in the company of anyone outside of their own culture , and sometimes stupid things have been said which I try to egnore rather than start an arguement .
but what I have decided to do , is to forgive them for their ignorance , not to argue with them because it generaly makes things worse , but not to enter into discussion about it as it will not change their veiw , and might cause me to feel angry !

I have deciced that the best thing I could do is to , is to say to my self o.k.....the ignorance stops here , ........you canot correct others , but one can correct oneself .
now for you ? there is no need for you to be angry , dont be angry at them and dont be angry at yourself ! you are in the position to say anger stops here , o.k. ...it might take a little practice to stop your self from feeling anger ,

but remember to keep reminding yourself this anger never accheived anything but more anger , so as you would in meditation keep reminding yourself not to attatch to that feeling when it comes along .

and as for thinking that you are a bad person ? well we all have done some things that we are not proud of , but once we identify them as bad we start the process of changing our behavior , so you can say o.k. ... I did do some stupid things , prehaps that was bad , but I now realise and I am trying to change , so you are no longer a bad person , you are a new changing person

christianity ? this has allready been said , but there are good christians and bad christians , just as there are good buddhists and bad buddhists, again it is better to simply hold on to the good ones and try to avoid the bad , I am affraid it is true that you will meet ignorance and stupidity every where it is an unfortunate fact of life , so just try to focus on the good !

which brings me back to refuge ,

yes you can very simply go for refuge as we disscussed before when we were talking about the site you first mentioned in another thread . when I first started practicing I followed very similar instructions from a book , it was many years after that I formaly took refuge vows (which simply counts as a blessing ) (one does not need it to start )all one needs to take refuge is a mind that is willing to accept the love , help and blessings of the buddha .

now before I sign off I would like to tell you a little about my refuge prayer , my tradition is mahayana , so it is a regular part of our daily prayer that when we go for refuge not only do we go for refuge for our own benifit ,

but when we are practiced in this we generate a mind which thinks to take refuge for all living beings (particularly those experiencing suffering of any kind) , so when you are finding things a little difficult remember that all over the world every day other buddhists are taking refuge equaly for them selves and for you .

so when you take refuge you are never alone , you have an invisible but very real sangha ,
remember allso that refuge means shelter , the ultimate shelter is the buddha and his teachings the dharma ., and beyond that you have the shelter of the sangha , every one of us !

so if you have any particula problem in your mind surrender it to buddha , take his shelter
and remember you are amongst friends :hug:

namaskars ratikala